(written afternoon of 3/30/07)
I never realize how right it feels to be driving through lake country until I'm actually doing it. I got off the interstate a few exits before I needed to (but exactly when I needed to), and enjoyed trundling along on a day that was just the right temperature for a jacket and an open window.
The right song makes all the difference.
It has been discovered (!) that I'm one of those rare breeds who takes pleasure in music for the music itself, not because of an associated memory or anything else secondary. The music is enough. It's always enough. I (trust and) understand implicitly that the third person outside the "I" that takes over and makes these limbs sway, makes this head nod and this pulse jump. There is an other. What is it? God? Is art God? It is a thing seperate from humanity, that much is certain. We appreciate it apart from the artist, for it is a thing apart from the artist. (I'm not being redundant, repeatedly.) It is dependent on the artist for creation, to be sure, but then it is capable of being free standing, long after the artist ceases to be- and it can represent something entirely new and unique to a different body of people with no idea of the artist's original intent. This is not a problem, more like a solution in the absence of a problem. Beyond all else, art is a communicator, but not solely this- it is a mirror. Those who connect with a certain art or piece of art do so because they see themselves somewhere within the myriad of intangibles present there.
How is it that one person could create one thing that then becomes symbol of so many other things to so many? It is the separateness of art from the individual creator that makes it accessible to all. Herein lies the rub- something that is borne of one is really the mirror for many. The artist in such situations hardly seems in control of themselves- often creating because they don't have a choice.
Get out of the way.
I'm sitting in a Barnes & Noble cafe right now, looking up at the mural covered in so many loved and lined faces - Shaw, Wilde, Wharton, James, Woolf. You powerless fools. We hold your images up in effigy for what you channelled, not who you are. It is these words here, winking on the inked page, that will remain when I'm in the ground. It is this push towards the other that drives me even as they were driven. But if not God, if God is separate from art with the same amount of separateness God has with all this, which is to say not much, or an unknown amount, is art merely a manifestation of a higher, collective conscience of humans? Or is it still "other?"
Will things always, still, be "other"? The Bible says that Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. I wonder how much, in his infinite wisdom, he also left out of the "grasping" category.
I want to know
I want to know
But when the grace is found in the unknown, the stillness, the quietness, the ineffable and mysterious cloud (!), how much better off am I with open hands? As opposed to grasped ones? Or even grasping? And if art and grace are beyond similar- this rightness found in the mirror, the second of seeing yourself for even one moment in the same skin of everyone else, is it any wonder that both are unexplainable?
BE BOLD, SON.
In spite of everything else, they are both wrapped up in this skin so far as to be beyond the point of no return. I am chained to loveliness. I am a prisoner of bliss. If grace, art, and I all exist in one moment, and I am able to look beyond and contemplate all three with a smile and a nodding head and that "third" of me, I may not be whole, but I can get a taste.
And that's beyond allright.
4.01.2007
3.15.2007
this
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
nooooooooooooo.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
figments of my imagination and 0 seconds vie for the championship on this one
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
three bags of swedish fish from my Mama.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
ever breathed? same answer.
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
swam over the noon hour today at Krannert
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
music, shoes, bikes
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
girl scout cookies, swedish fish
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
teeth, hands, eyes
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?.
changes come by OtR
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
presidential suite of the satanic shakespearean complex
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
River Valley High School aka Reefer Valley
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Verizon
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Gap, most likely
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
for my folks- 8 years worth
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
no. but I own a paradise. heh heh heh
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
No. unless you count my inane/rambling voice mails, which might be considered pranks, though they are in earnest.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Shelly & Rodney's, at Red Rocks.
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Buddy.
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Last weekend of January, I saw two of them. The other one is sitting about 10 feet away, YouTubing.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Panda Express.
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
I hope I never make you cry like that.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Steak and Shake. You just can't do that out west. After that, prolly Adam's.
24. CAN YOU COOK?
I can hold my own... nothing fancy
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
The Super Trooper. Support my troops, people.
26. BEST KISSER:
so far, I'd have to say that squirrel that sat on DNO's upper lip for "Little Women".
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
A couple of hours ago, during a phone call to Japan.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Carrots. Onions. Chocolate. Saurkraut. Burned Lasagna. Haggis. Hot Dogs in a blender. Unbreaded, rubbery squid that's been sitting out for hours.
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
Eyes, hands, hair.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
my current matronlyness
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
13.5 hours at Starbucks.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Sense and Sensibility.
34. CAN YOU SING?
eh, passibly
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Hm. Amos Lee? Maybe OtR?
36. LAST TIME YOU ATE OUT?
Lunch at On the Border with Grandma today after my swim.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
whoa. no idea on this one- Davis rented "Eurotrip" so we could see Lucy Lawless in a dominatrix costume a couple of weeks ago- so it wasn't a direct rent, but close
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
clothes on.
39. FAVORITE vacation spot?
Colorado, at this point. It's where I keep freaking going all the time, so it must be.
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
I wish I had a laptop. But the crap lap died, and unless money falls out of the sky, I won't be getting another anytime soon..... I'm not really very desky.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
hm. I like Paula Poundstone, Wanda Sykes, and Ellen ok. Oh! and eddie izzard
45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when I'm burning with anger
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
more like what... a body pillow, clothes, sheepskin slippers, books, and sometimes a little trash.
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Not from what I've seen.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
I've honestly lost count. At least 10.
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Shut up this makes me want a GW Bushboy.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
hate.
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
any way but over hard or boiled. probably in this preferential order: over easy, scrambled, poached, over medium
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
I believe that it is funny.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Buddy
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Bobby
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
Can we push it back to 5:45
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3, two for heads, only one of which I use, and a body pillow.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Chicago tshirt, jeans, sheepskin slippers. and underthings, you pervs.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
Y a du monde
Dans ce beau monde
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
berries made of rasps or straws
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
do you really want to swim with the sharks?
63.Can u swim?
see above.
I once again have become accustomed to bleach-tainted skin.
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
cookie dough. premium? cold stone creamery's cake batter. ridiculously extravagant? pistachio gelato.
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
I do, actually. my fiance is a map
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can't handle it if you eat off of my plate. I actually had a semi-embarrassing situation involving this problem of mine a few days ago.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yeah, I went to a "Tacky Party" hosted by Erin Steury my sophomore year at HC... I was appropriate, that's all I'll say
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON:??
late summer
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
a few hours ago at the phrase "handy hand." I just laughed at it again.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
1045. *slam slam slam* WAKE UP! GO TO LUNCH WITH GRANDMA!!!!!
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
feeling like my automotive choice is justified.
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
colorado springs, sometime. I got three there... take your pick.
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?
Nugget, my affable beagle/mutt
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?
pirates don't exist
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
OtR, working.
78. BIRTHDATE!!
HOLY CRAP IT IS ON OCTOBER 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!@$#(*&%!
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
genuine. a travel writer. a mom. a spouse. a musician. a lover. a good listener. someone's hero.
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
yikes, I would break it, dontcha think?
87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
no.
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
no. no people. I am a rock. I am an iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisland.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
New Zealand, Greece, China, Japan, Macchu Picchu, the Bermuda Triangle, and Mount Kilimanjaro before all the snow is gone.
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
yes.
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
9859 of them
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
stella.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
black, the same color as my heart. It keeps me from getting confused.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
it starts in five minutes oh crap I'm going to be late.
97.Did u go on vacation last month?
no, unless you count those minivacations in my dumpster bed.
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
no.
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
no. If I do, Dan's keeping something from me.
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
no. I hate stairs. I hate up.
102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yes.
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
sure, as long as they were quiet and let me go to sleep. they could sit in the corner or something.
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
necklace with the knot that everyone always thinks is wiccan and grandma panozzo's ring on it, grandma pearl's green native american ring, and the silver ring buddy gave me.
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
hit the clubs.
nooooooooooooo.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
figments of my imagination and 0 seconds vie for the championship on this one
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
three bags of swedish fish from my Mama.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
ever breathed? same answer.
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
swam over the noon hour today at Krannert
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
music, shoes, bikes
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
girl scout cookies, swedish fish
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
teeth, hands, eyes
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?.
changes come by OtR
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
presidential suite of the satanic shakespearean complex
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
River Valley High School aka Reefer Valley
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Verizon
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Gap, most likely
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
for my folks- 8 years worth
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
no. but I own a paradise. heh heh heh
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
No. unless you count my inane/rambling voice mails, which might be considered pranks, though they are in earnest.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Shelly & Rodney's, at Red Rocks.
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Buddy.
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Last weekend of January, I saw two of them. The other one is sitting about 10 feet away, YouTubing.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Panda Express.
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
I hope I never make you cry like that.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Steak and Shake. You just can't do that out west. After that, prolly Adam's.
24. CAN YOU COOK?
I can hold my own... nothing fancy
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
The Super Trooper. Support my troops, people.
26. BEST KISSER:
so far, I'd have to say that squirrel that sat on DNO's upper lip for "Little Women".
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
A couple of hours ago, during a phone call to Japan.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Carrots. Onions. Chocolate. Saurkraut. Burned Lasagna. Haggis. Hot Dogs in a blender. Unbreaded, rubbery squid that's been sitting out for hours.
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
Eyes, hands, hair.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
my current matronlyness
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
13.5 hours at Starbucks.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Sense and Sensibility.
34. CAN YOU SING?
eh, passibly
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Hm. Amos Lee? Maybe OtR?
36. LAST TIME YOU ATE OUT?
Lunch at On the Border with Grandma today after my swim.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
whoa. no idea on this one- Davis rented "Eurotrip" so we could see Lucy Lawless in a dominatrix costume a couple of weeks ago- so it wasn't a direct rent, but close
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
clothes on.
39. FAVORITE vacation spot?
Colorado, at this point. It's where I keep freaking going all the time, so it must be.
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
I wish I had a laptop. But the crap lap died, and unless money falls out of the sky, I won't be getting another anytime soon..... I'm not really very desky.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
hm. I like Paula Poundstone, Wanda Sykes, and Ellen ok. Oh! and eddie izzard
45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when I'm burning with anger
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
more like what... a body pillow, clothes, sheepskin slippers, books, and sometimes a little trash.
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Not from what I've seen.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
I've honestly lost count. At least 10.
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Shut up this makes me want a GW Bushboy.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
hate.
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
any way but over hard or boiled. probably in this preferential order: over easy, scrambled, poached, over medium
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
I believe that it is funny.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Buddy
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Bobby
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
Can we push it back to 5:45
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3, two for heads, only one of which I use, and a body pillow.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Chicago tshirt, jeans, sheepskin slippers. and underthings, you pervs.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
Y a du monde
Dans ce beau monde
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
berries made of rasps or straws
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
do you really want to swim with the sharks?
63.Can u swim?
see above.
I once again have become accustomed to bleach-tainted skin.
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
cookie dough. premium? cold stone creamery's cake batter. ridiculously extravagant? pistachio gelato.
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
I do, actually. my fiance is a map
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can't handle it if you eat off of my plate. I actually had a semi-embarrassing situation involving this problem of mine a few days ago.
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yeah, I went to a "Tacky Party" hosted by Erin Steury my sophomore year at HC... I was appropriate, that's all I'll say
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON:??
late summer
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
a few hours ago at the phrase "handy hand." I just laughed at it again.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
1045. *slam slam slam* WAKE UP! GO TO LUNCH WITH GRANDMA!!!!!
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
feeling like my automotive choice is justified.
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
colorado springs, sometime. I got three there... take your pick.
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?
Nugget, my affable beagle/mutt
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?
pirates don't exist
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
OtR, working.
78. BIRTHDATE!!
HOLY CRAP IT IS ON OCTOBER 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!@$#(*&%!
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
genuine. a travel writer. a mom. a spouse. a musician. a lover. a good listener. someone's hero.
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
yikes, I would break it, dontcha think?
87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
no.
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
no. no people. I am a rock. I am an iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisland.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
New Zealand, Greece, China, Japan, Macchu Picchu, the Bermuda Triangle, and Mount Kilimanjaro before all the snow is gone.
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
yes.
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
9859 of them
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
stella.
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
black, the same color as my heart. It keeps me from getting confused.
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
it starts in five minutes oh crap I'm going to be late.
97.Did u go on vacation last month?
no, unless you count those minivacations in my dumpster bed.
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
no.
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
no. If I do, Dan's keeping something from me.
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
no. I hate stairs. I hate up.
102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yes.
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
sure, as long as they were quiet and let me go to sleep. they could sit in the corner or something.
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
necklace with the knot that everyone always thinks is wiccan and grandma panozzo's ring on it, grandma pearl's green native american ring, and the silver ring buddy gave me.
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
hit the clubs.
2.17.2007
we will lift you up
we will place you on your feet
sometimes I just want to tell everyone in the world to shut up.
sometimes I wish there wasn't a reason for me to cry.
but there is.
I wish the wrong people weren't looking over my shoulders all the time.
I don't want to talk about it.
I just wish it was better.
we will place you on your feet
sometimes I just want to tell everyone in the world to shut up.
sometimes I wish there wasn't a reason for me to cry.
but there is.
I wish the wrong people weren't looking over my shoulders all the time.
I don't want to talk about it.
I just wish it was better.
2.16.2007
I need to see the sea
well, I guess I should finish up the story of the power weekend, eh?
Monday morning I woke before Dan and went out and visited with Katie on her futon for a few minutes. It was nice, and peaceful, and the way Mondays should be but rarely are. Soon enough she left for work, and woke Dan right before she did, and there were hugs all around. He and I sat and talked and interneted and eventually wandered down to the Einstein's next to the Queen for breakfast. Lox and bagel never tasted so good.
We got back to the basement miracle/nightmare and packed the rest of our crap. Dan took a long time in the shower. It happens sometimes. We missed our bus to go down town, and I ended up calling Rob Drabkin, who picked us up and took us to the airport. That was fun. It was like being in the back of Mandy Sanders' Omni all over again, except that I was far more attracted to the driver this time. We all three talked home recording and gigs and gear.... I realized once again how much better it is to hang out with dudes. I've got to find some out here.
So then it was planey planey... we made it up to the gate right as they announced initial boarding. good grief, Dan and I couldn't talk enough. All day, through security, on the plane, in the Minneapolis airport at the TGI Fridays and on the people movers. It was the best kind of intense there is. We made it to our planes as the last boarding call was announced, and I literally ran to the end of the concourse to mine, getting my ticket scanned right before they closed the doors. Talk about last minute. Then I jogged back to my seat, pushed my backpack in the overhead bin (yay for not checking bags!), collapsed in my seat, and burst into tears. The lines from that one song on Brian's sampler echoed in my mind ... "What a year, it has been, what a year, it has been- lost my love, shed my skin, what a year, it has been." Transpose weekend and it was accurate, surely. I called Dan briefly, trying to hold it together, under the pretense of wanting to make sure he got on his flight ok. I knew he did, of course he did. I watched him over my shoulder until the wall got in the way as I jogged off towards my Indianapolis flight. But still, I called him- and I knew why- I just needed to hear his voice again. Even for a moment. I could tell he was a little confused, but I didn't care. He said words, and I just mumbled a response, afraid to trust my voice at even the most simplest of phrases. We hung up pretty quickly, and I slumped my head on the cool glass of the window, thankful that Minnesota would keep me in her heart if I did the same.
A couple of hours later, my pops picked me up in the big Buick and we headed home. He talked to me about a lot of stuff, mostly financial planning, but I will admit I mostly only heard buzzing in my ears. I looked at the clock, knowing that I worked in less than 8 hours. I exhaled. I closed my eyes. I smiled.
____________________________________________
(for a slideshow of the wedding, click here. yours truly is in a couple of shots, including a not bad one of buddy and I singing the processional. the other is of myself and Rob [who took Dan and I to the airport] enjoying our hair.)
Monday morning I woke before Dan and went out and visited with Katie on her futon for a few minutes. It was nice, and peaceful, and the way Mondays should be but rarely are. Soon enough she left for work, and woke Dan right before she did, and there were hugs all around. He and I sat and talked and interneted and eventually wandered down to the Einstein's next to the Queen for breakfast. Lox and bagel never tasted so good.
We got back to the basement miracle/nightmare and packed the rest of our crap. Dan took a long time in the shower. It happens sometimes. We missed our bus to go down town, and I ended up calling Rob Drabkin, who picked us up and took us to the airport. That was fun. It was like being in the back of Mandy Sanders' Omni all over again, except that I was far more attracted to the driver this time. We all three talked home recording and gigs and gear.... I realized once again how much better it is to hang out with dudes. I've got to find some out here.
So then it was planey planey... we made it up to the gate right as they announced initial boarding. good grief, Dan and I couldn't talk enough. All day, through security, on the plane, in the Minneapolis airport at the TGI Fridays and on the people movers. It was the best kind of intense there is. We made it to our planes as the last boarding call was announced, and I literally ran to the end of the concourse to mine, getting my ticket scanned right before they closed the doors. Talk about last minute. Then I jogged back to my seat, pushed my backpack in the overhead bin (yay for not checking bags!), collapsed in my seat, and burst into tears. The lines from that one song on Brian's sampler echoed in my mind ... "What a year, it has been, what a year, it has been- lost my love, shed my skin, what a year, it has been." Transpose weekend and it was accurate, surely. I called Dan briefly, trying to hold it together, under the pretense of wanting to make sure he got on his flight ok. I knew he did, of course he did. I watched him over my shoulder until the wall got in the way as I jogged off towards my Indianapolis flight. But still, I called him- and I knew why- I just needed to hear his voice again. Even for a moment. I could tell he was a little confused, but I didn't care. He said words, and I just mumbled a response, afraid to trust my voice at even the most simplest of phrases. We hung up pretty quickly, and I slumped my head on the cool glass of the window, thankful that Minnesota would keep me in her heart if I did the same.
A couple of hours later, my pops picked me up in the big Buick and we headed home. He talked to me about a lot of stuff, mostly financial planning, but I will admit I mostly only heard buzzing in my ears. I looked at the clock, knowing that I worked in less than 8 hours. I exhaled. I closed my eyes. I smiled.
____________________________________________
(for a slideshow of the wedding, click here. yours truly is in a couple of shots, including a not bad one of buddy and I singing the processional. the other is of myself and Rob [who took Dan and I to the airport] enjoying our hair.)
2.06.2007
I won't stop at the foothills
wedding time = Sunday. dun dun dun.
Dan and I woke up sans hangovers (woohoo, PTL) to Katie whispering over us that we had to leave for church in an hour. I was relieved to see that I had covers- the night before he had been a human loom and I was left with handfuls of sheet and little else. My boots had come the day before while we were in the Springs, so I showered and ironed and then slid my little legs into them. People. I don't know how I ever existed without knowing the blissful feeling of sheepskin nearly up to my knee. I never intend to go without it again.
Church was still about 90% good. Somewhere in there they went a little Flatiron-ey/megachurchey, with dumb looking programs and video clips of "Meet The Parents" halfway through the service. The building was so fab, and the speaking was so good, though, I quickly overlooked it. The music has suffered a little bit since I was there. Not to say it was Grandma McDonald playing the comb or anything, but world class musicians do leave you a little spoiled. Despite it's shortcomings, Pathways is still a nails church. If I could, I'd move back just to attend. And for all the other things that I love about CO.
We got back to Buddy's after the service and I ate leftovers from the night before and she and I started out by fighting over a trash can. Oddly appropriate, now that I think of the literary symbolism of it all... I should always plan my fights to be as illustrative. After long, very calm monologues from the both of us about how there was nothing left and we shouldn't be friends any longer (we both were in agreement, nobody had any reservations- this was a first), I started crying. Yes, non-teared Liza. You know when you know something is over, but it was such a beautiful, epochal, transformative thing that you can't help but cry for it anyway, to mourn it and almost honor it in a way? That's where I was at. If this was really over, I wanted to say everything like I meant it, because I knew there wouldn't be another chance. When you are staring the relationship of your life in the face and can see the death mask slide over tired eyes, its time to be honest. There are many things we have never been able to give each other that we have both needed. We won't ever be able to give each other those things. We are too much of who we are to be somebody else. But those different people have loved each other beyond human understanding so many times that the lacking seemed superfluous. If nothing else, Buddy taught me about selfless love.
So after the crying started, and the air was cleared, we decided to keep being friends anyway. The way I see it, we don't have a choice, really. When I try to describe our friendship to people, it usually ends up sounding very epic and grandiose, but I'm coming to realize that maybe it seems that way because that's how it actually is. Some things are out of our control. No matter how hard we try to destroy it, or enable it, or leer at it with indifference, or love it until our palms bleed, it will remain. This is the category I place our friendship in. And I've never had anything else to put in that category until now; it stands alone.
Well, that was slightly exhausting.
We rehearsed for a couple of moments, because Buddy had laryngitis or rickets or something and couldn't sing, and then packed up. Once again I found myself in the back of the Jeep on the way to Red Rocks, only this time I didn't interrupt. I vocalized for a little while to Patty and Sarah M., and then we were there, packing into a full parking lot and navigating the slushy/muddy faux parking lot to the little chapel. Everything was relaxed; we headed downstairs to a little green room and tuned guitars and met Luke Flowers. He was also well over six feet. Dan with his 6'6" business and Buddy in her heels at 6'2" and Luke all together made me feel like a midget. I was the shortest of all of them by a good six inches, and I'm not used to feeling small. It was fun. They're all ridiculously good looking people, too, so that was also fun.
We headed up to the sanctuary and set up the guitars and then Dan and I wandered outside from the side door which had been propped open. We threw snowballs at a nearby tree, and looked at the Rocks, and watched Shelly and Rodney have their wedding pictures taken. The other musicians showed up and went in the side door and also a lady with advanced MS and tremors came through that way. I thought about Scott briefly, then stopped myself. Dan and I talked idly about weddings and adoption and threw more snow. He pulled his pants up high to make me laugh. It worked. We smiled at each other in the sun and then moved back in to the building.
We squeezed into the pew next to Buddy and Luke, and then she and I got up for the processional. It didn't go half bad- my voice carried pretty well and I stayed in tune. Couldn't have asked for more on that end, really. I wish Buddy had been able to sing with me, though. It was still like easing back into a well-worn, favorite pair of pants to play with her, though. Despite a little glitch at the start of the song, we never looked at each other or faltered- playing with her is as easy as playing with myself.
When we returned to our seats, the little russian/eastern european man who had been playing the piano previously was sitting in our spot, pointedly ignoring us standing right over his shoulder. I waited a polite amount of time, then leaned over to ask him if he was going to remain there throughout the service. He replied, rather loudly, that these seats were assigned to him, and we should find our own seats. Russian ass. We sat down behind him and I seethed. Dan and I flew halfway across the country, I spent hundreds of dollars, and took time off work, so this jackass can tell me to find another seat. I muttered "Russian Ass" several times, more than loud enough for him to hear, to Buddy as we wedged our way into the pew behind him. I'm sure he heard me. I was glad. She tried to stifle her laughter, and mostly succeeded. I just reached up and squeezed Dan's shoulder a lot during the ceremony, and soon enough, it was over. Let me repeat to all of you- never get married there. Never. If you ever hear of anyone planning on getting married there, tell them not to do it. And scene.
The reception was fine, whatevs, and we saw Rob there. There was great food (PTL Shelly is a vegan) and so the five of us, Buddy, me, Dan, Luke, and Rob all kind of hung out. We stayed for a couple of hours, then moseyed after Rob played a couple of our requests. We figured, even if it wasn't our wedding reception, we had put up with a lot this day, and Shelly was too twitterpated to notice what tunes were jangling out over Rob's strings. After "Rise at Sea" and "She Comes And Goes," we scooted out the door, arms full of centerpieces and bellies full of polenta.
[as a brief aside, let me not fail to mention the old codger sitting across the table from us. Man, what a card. He kept ineptly bursting into our conversation, expecting us to relish his witty statements. except that they were devoid of wit. He grabbed one of the admittedly beautiful orchid centerpieces, stuffed some more orchids from a nearby one into it, and then shoved a small decorative picture frame in for good measure. he then sauntered off to find "his granddaughter" and I took the opportunity to put the diminuative set of salt and pepper shakers in his flowers, as well. If only he hadn't looked closely when he returned... he blamed it on "his granddaughter" and I thanked my lucky stars the kids around me had a background in theatre and could fake/choke/cough their way through the moment. he just seemed so intent on taking everything off the table he could, I thought I'd help him out a bit.]
Getting home was much easier than getting there; Buddy (who was leading with Luke) got us lost on the way to the reception several times. We got back to the apartment and danced around crazily for a while before falling into a heap on the bed, whereon Dan looked over at me and said, "Wanna go get f*cked up?" I knew he was referring to Buddy's unopened bottle of 100% agave Centenario tequila, which she had had for over a year. I nodded, a contented smile appearing on my lips. About four shots in we were interrupted by a phone party. Dan disappeared into the bathroom for a while, Buddy's buddhist faux-boyfriend who overreacts and is a horrible kisser called her and she slipped out to the entryway, so I took the opportunity to call the only logical person in the world: Kati Hultman. To be honest, it was a call back since I had called her the day before (was it only the day before?) when I was so mad I couldn't see straight. She had returned my call the previous evening, but I believe at the time I was drunk and laying on a table in the Ancient Mariner with Dan, looking at the ceiling. So I returned her call, and we talked for a while, and I was amazed at how lucid I felt. The phone party ended and Dan and I took up where we left off, slamming a couple more and taking a few additionals with cranberry juice mixed in. whoooo things got pretty loose then.
Buddy left for her futon-bed and Dan and I cozied down in the down comforter and had ourselves a talk. Boy, did we have ourselves a talk. What happens in Buddy's bed stays in Buddy's bed, and that's all you're going to get from me on the subject, but let me just declare to you all now- there is nothing finer than unabashed honesty and loosing of secrets with someone you love. There is no kind of high, physical, emotional, or spiritual more transcendent than that. Some smart person once said, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." They weren't kidding. With a warm glow in my belly and a ridiculous smile plastered across my face, I drifted off to a thousand golden dreams.
Dan and I woke up sans hangovers (woohoo, PTL) to Katie whispering over us that we had to leave for church in an hour. I was relieved to see that I had covers- the night before he had been a human loom and I was left with handfuls of sheet and little else. My boots had come the day before while we were in the Springs, so I showered and ironed and then slid my little legs into them. People. I don't know how I ever existed without knowing the blissful feeling of sheepskin nearly up to my knee. I never intend to go without it again.
Church was still about 90% good. Somewhere in there they went a little Flatiron-ey/megachurchey, with dumb looking programs and video clips of "Meet The Parents" halfway through the service. The building was so fab, and the speaking was so good, though, I quickly overlooked it. The music has suffered a little bit since I was there. Not to say it was Grandma McDonald playing the comb or anything, but world class musicians do leave you a little spoiled. Despite it's shortcomings, Pathways is still a nails church. If I could, I'd move back just to attend. And for all the other things that I love about CO.
We got back to Buddy's after the service and I ate leftovers from the night before and she and I started out by fighting over a trash can. Oddly appropriate, now that I think of the literary symbolism of it all... I should always plan my fights to be as illustrative. After long, very calm monologues from the both of us about how there was nothing left and we shouldn't be friends any longer (we both were in agreement, nobody had any reservations- this was a first), I started crying. Yes, non-teared Liza. You know when you know something is over, but it was such a beautiful, epochal, transformative thing that you can't help but cry for it anyway, to mourn it and almost honor it in a way? That's where I was at. If this was really over, I wanted to say everything like I meant it, because I knew there wouldn't be another chance. When you are staring the relationship of your life in the face and can see the death mask slide over tired eyes, its time to be honest. There are many things we have never been able to give each other that we have both needed. We won't ever be able to give each other those things. We are too much of who we are to be somebody else. But those different people have loved each other beyond human understanding so many times that the lacking seemed superfluous. If nothing else, Buddy taught me about selfless love.
So after the crying started, and the air was cleared, we decided to keep being friends anyway. The way I see it, we don't have a choice, really. When I try to describe our friendship to people, it usually ends up sounding very epic and grandiose, but I'm coming to realize that maybe it seems that way because that's how it actually is. Some things are out of our control. No matter how hard we try to destroy it, or enable it, or leer at it with indifference, or love it until our palms bleed, it will remain. This is the category I place our friendship in. And I've never had anything else to put in that category until now; it stands alone.
Well, that was slightly exhausting.
We rehearsed for a couple of moments, because Buddy had laryngitis or rickets or something and couldn't sing, and then packed up. Once again I found myself in the back of the Jeep on the way to Red Rocks, only this time I didn't interrupt. I vocalized for a little while to Patty and Sarah M., and then we were there, packing into a full parking lot and navigating the slushy/muddy faux parking lot to the little chapel. Everything was relaxed; we headed downstairs to a little green room and tuned guitars and met Luke Flowers. He was also well over six feet. Dan with his 6'6" business and Buddy in her heels at 6'2" and Luke all together made me feel like a midget. I was the shortest of all of them by a good six inches, and I'm not used to feeling small. It was fun. They're all ridiculously good looking people, too, so that was also fun.
We headed up to the sanctuary and set up the guitars and then Dan and I wandered outside from the side door which had been propped open. We threw snowballs at a nearby tree, and looked at the Rocks, and watched Shelly and Rodney have their wedding pictures taken. The other musicians showed up and went in the side door and also a lady with advanced MS and tremors came through that way. I thought about Scott briefly, then stopped myself. Dan and I talked idly about weddings and adoption and threw more snow. He pulled his pants up high to make me laugh. It worked. We smiled at each other in the sun and then moved back in to the building.
We squeezed into the pew next to Buddy and Luke, and then she and I got up for the processional. It didn't go half bad- my voice carried pretty well and I stayed in tune. Couldn't have asked for more on that end, really. I wish Buddy had been able to sing with me, though. It was still like easing back into a well-worn, favorite pair of pants to play with her, though. Despite a little glitch at the start of the song, we never looked at each other or faltered- playing with her is as easy as playing with myself.
When we returned to our seats, the little russian/eastern european man who had been playing the piano previously was sitting in our spot, pointedly ignoring us standing right over his shoulder. I waited a polite amount of time, then leaned over to ask him if he was going to remain there throughout the service. He replied, rather loudly, that these seats were assigned to him, and we should find our own seats. Russian ass. We sat down behind him and I seethed. Dan and I flew halfway across the country, I spent hundreds of dollars, and took time off work, so this jackass can tell me to find another seat. I muttered "Russian Ass" several times, more than loud enough for him to hear, to Buddy as we wedged our way into the pew behind him. I'm sure he heard me. I was glad. She tried to stifle her laughter, and mostly succeeded. I just reached up and squeezed Dan's shoulder a lot during the ceremony, and soon enough, it was over. Let me repeat to all of you- never get married there. Never. If you ever hear of anyone planning on getting married there, tell them not to do it. And scene.
The reception was fine, whatevs, and we saw Rob there. There was great food (PTL Shelly is a vegan) and so the five of us, Buddy, me, Dan, Luke, and Rob all kind of hung out. We stayed for a couple of hours, then moseyed after Rob played a couple of our requests. We figured, even if it wasn't our wedding reception, we had put up with a lot this day, and Shelly was too twitterpated to notice what tunes were jangling out over Rob's strings. After "Rise at Sea" and "She Comes And Goes," we scooted out the door, arms full of centerpieces and bellies full of polenta.
[as a brief aside, let me not fail to mention the old codger sitting across the table from us. Man, what a card. He kept ineptly bursting into our conversation, expecting us to relish his witty statements. except that they were devoid of wit. He grabbed one of the admittedly beautiful orchid centerpieces, stuffed some more orchids from a nearby one into it, and then shoved a small decorative picture frame in for good measure. he then sauntered off to find "his granddaughter" and I took the opportunity to put the diminuative set of salt and pepper shakers in his flowers, as well. If only he hadn't looked closely when he returned... he blamed it on "his granddaughter" and I thanked my lucky stars the kids around me had a background in theatre and could fake/choke/cough their way through the moment. he just seemed so intent on taking everything off the table he could, I thought I'd help him out a bit.]
Getting home was much easier than getting there; Buddy (who was leading with Luke) got us lost on the way to the reception several times. We got back to the apartment and danced around crazily for a while before falling into a heap on the bed, whereon Dan looked over at me and said, "Wanna go get f*cked up?" I knew he was referring to Buddy's unopened bottle of 100% agave Centenario tequila, which she had had for over a year. I nodded, a contented smile appearing on my lips. About four shots in we were interrupted by a phone party. Dan disappeared into the bathroom for a while, Buddy's buddhist faux-boyfriend who overreacts and is a horrible kisser called her and she slipped out to the entryway, so I took the opportunity to call the only logical person in the world: Kati Hultman. To be honest, it was a call back since I had called her the day before (was it only the day before?) when I was so mad I couldn't see straight. She had returned my call the previous evening, but I believe at the time I was drunk and laying on a table in the Ancient Mariner with Dan, looking at the ceiling. So I returned her call, and we talked for a while, and I was amazed at how lucid I felt. The phone party ended and Dan and I took up where we left off, slamming a couple more and taking a few additionals with cranberry juice mixed in. whoooo things got pretty loose then.
Buddy left for her futon-bed and Dan and I cozied down in the down comforter and had ourselves a talk. Boy, did we have ourselves a talk. What happens in Buddy's bed stays in Buddy's bed, and that's all you're going to get from me on the subject, but let me just declare to you all now- there is nothing finer than unabashed honesty and loosing of secrets with someone you love. There is no kind of high, physical, emotional, or spiritual more transcendent than that. Some smart person once said, "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." They weren't kidding. With a warm glow in my belly and a ridiculous smile plastered across my face, I drifted off to a thousand golden dreams.
2.01.2007
making my way west
Saturday.
Buddy and I were at odds most of the day, through no amount of innocence on either side. I stormed off to the Queen early, armed with a BOGO coupon. I met Chris in the alleyway; she seemed to have forgotten all of our ill-timed run ins from the previous year, and seemed genuinely glad to see me. (as an aside, I forgot to mention that I saw Brooke the night before. she looked slick, man, slick.) I was angry. I mention this because I so rarely get that angry, I think I can only remember one other time in the last ten years. Fairly monumental. I sloshed along in my Earth shoes, the same ones that brought Shelly and I together two years ago, with a late arrival and a whisper in the back of a massage therapy classroom. The soles are coming apart on them now, and I had scarcely gone ten paces before my heavy wool socks were already damp. Ah well. Might as well be uncomfortable all the way around.
When I got back, I demanded and got Buddy's Jeep, and wasted 45 minutes driving around town aimlessly looking for an open bank. Cashless, I returned and gathered Dan before we headed out for our day. Buddy stayed home, in bed.
We had left earlier than planned, so showed up at Brian's before he and Katie got home from collecting a wine chiller mini fridge. Brian is a wine afficianado, and his girlfriend Katie is a happy enabler. He has quite the impromptu wine cellar in his basement, one that I am always glad of when visiting, and this trip was certainly no disappointment- they honored Dan and I (and Katie's dad, who was helping them with the cooler) with a ridiculous spread including 4 types of cheeses, marinated artichoke, bruschetta, a cracker plate, and of course 2 different bottles of wine. I only allowed myself two glasses as I would be driving us down to the Springs in a few hours, but Dan loaded up. A sly wink passed back and forth assured the both of us that my turn would come.
After a few, happy hours with them it was time to head out. I had to use the restroom before we left, at the same time as Dan, and Katie told him to go ahead, that "Liza's bathroom is upstairs." It got a real, genuine smile out of me for the first time that day. Even after all these months, I knew I belonged. Let me tell you, friends, when you find this feeling, don't let it go.
Hugs and waves exchanged, Dan and I folded ourselves back into Buddy's Jeep and headed down to the Springs. Despite being overcast, he was still able to get a pretty good view of the foothills. I had fun pointing things out on the way down- Castle Rock and the geological formation that gives it its name, Monument Pass, and the like. I didn't even bother with the Air Force Academy or New Life Church- despite visibility being too poor to actually see them from the roadway, I didn't care. We had a long, awkward, and good conversation on the way down, clearing the air for me a bit. I discover a little more all the time that I really like talking to that kid. He's a great listener. (Once again, when you find these, don't let them go... they are rare.)
I brought him into town on Garden of The Gods road, and then drove him through GOG itself. It was just on the darker side of twilight, and gorgeous out. Despite the chill I lowered my window. Things seem more tangible when there's not glass in between. Dan muttered for a moment about the beauty, then we both fell silent. Sometimes words don't do things justice. After completing a circuit of the park, we snuck up on the west side of the Springs from behind and found ourselves in the company of one McDavid, which thrilled me to no end. We headed over to Adams, and as Dan and she quickly fell in love with each other over the best organic food on either side of the Mississippi, I took a fond look around. In just three days time, the restaurant would be moving over to the newly renovated/restored Spa building in the center of town. There were already evident changes- the weird, busy wallpaper had been pulled up and the walls had been painted. The smell was the same, though, and Lucci and Sam were both working. I got hugs all around, and as always they came and sat at our table for long moments, ignoring other customers and catching up. I love those girls. I got to sing Sam her song one more time, and she smiled and laughed at me just the way she always did. And of course, as Dan dubbed her, "Old Farl" had to show up. I swear the claw-handed woman has some sort of sensor-- Liza's down at Adams. Must go. Must have awkward moment where we face off and then provide 15 second long non-sequiter conversation. Check.
So a couple of hours later (not that it wasn't it's own illustrative point, but I did talk to Dan about the "slow food" movement), we left with little boxes. Mine said, "Do it effectively do it" on the top, and McDavid, who wanted a slightly more menacing message to ward off unwanted eaters, had a variety of saying scrawled upon it. "Poison, posion. Scary feminine stuff. Placenta sauteed in man juice. Do not eat. Posson."
We sauntered back over to the Jeep, much fuller (and a little drunker, we did in fact split a bottle of organic Ladybug red table wine) and whipped that sucker around to Manitou Ave, and went into the Ancient Mariner where we had some more drinks and played a rather forgettable game of pool. I remember Dan lost both times. (the first we didn't count as an actual game, because all he did when he tried to break was shoot the cue ball into the nearest pocket. did I mention we were drinking?) I rubbed his shoulders for a moment, and a man who would have been absolutely creepy anywhere else but was perfectly normal in Manitou came up and asked me if I could work on him next. Sure. He plopped down and groaned for about five while I dug into his right shoulder. He had a pearl earring and a great, shaggy head of gray hair, racing down to meet a teal flannel shirt. He had a nice ring, too. Finally Dan saved me by leaning close to him and saying rather loudly, "Think you can sleep on that, now?" (his original complaint is that he couldn't sleep.) Yes, we are the smoothest operators in the known world. Still, I shot Dan a grateful smile and bucko thanked me heartily before stumbling off.
After I finished my Fat Tire (booyah!) and Shelly showed up, we shoved off. We dropped McDavid off and there were hugs and love all around. Dan looked at me accusatorily, wagging his finger and telling me I shouldn't have kept all these lovely people from him for so long. I just shrugged. He was to drive back up to Denver, so I gave him some rudimentary directions and dozed off, content to leave him in charge of transportation. I woke up to a hand squeeze at the Lincoln Ave exit, and gave him sleepy but followable instructions back to Buddy's. It was just after midnight, and we stumbled in her apartment to find her sleeping on the futon in the entryway. After quick tooth brushing, I tumbled into bed, falling back to sleep before Dan could get out of the shower.
Buddy and I were at odds most of the day, through no amount of innocence on either side. I stormed off to the Queen early, armed with a BOGO coupon. I met Chris in the alleyway; she seemed to have forgotten all of our ill-timed run ins from the previous year, and seemed genuinely glad to see me. (as an aside, I forgot to mention that I saw Brooke the night before. she looked slick, man, slick.) I was angry. I mention this because I so rarely get that angry, I think I can only remember one other time in the last ten years. Fairly monumental. I sloshed along in my Earth shoes, the same ones that brought Shelly and I together two years ago, with a late arrival and a whisper in the back of a massage therapy classroom. The soles are coming apart on them now, and I had scarcely gone ten paces before my heavy wool socks were already damp. Ah well. Might as well be uncomfortable all the way around.
When I got back, I demanded and got Buddy's Jeep, and wasted 45 minutes driving around town aimlessly looking for an open bank. Cashless, I returned and gathered Dan before we headed out for our day. Buddy stayed home, in bed.
We had left earlier than planned, so showed up at Brian's before he and Katie got home from collecting a wine chiller mini fridge. Brian is a wine afficianado, and his girlfriend Katie is a happy enabler. He has quite the impromptu wine cellar in his basement, one that I am always glad of when visiting, and this trip was certainly no disappointment- they honored Dan and I (and Katie's dad, who was helping them with the cooler) with a ridiculous spread including 4 types of cheeses, marinated artichoke, bruschetta, a cracker plate, and of course 2 different bottles of wine. I only allowed myself two glasses as I would be driving us down to the Springs in a few hours, but Dan loaded up. A sly wink passed back and forth assured the both of us that my turn would come.
After a few, happy hours with them it was time to head out. I had to use the restroom before we left, at the same time as Dan, and Katie told him to go ahead, that "Liza's bathroom is upstairs." It got a real, genuine smile out of me for the first time that day. Even after all these months, I knew I belonged. Let me tell you, friends, when you find this feeling, don't let it go.
Hugs and waves exchanged, Dan and I folded ourselves back into Buddy's Jeep and headed down to the Springs. Despite being overcast, he was still able to get a pretty good view of the foothills. I had fun pointing things out on the way down- Castle Rock and the geological formation that gives it its name, Monument Pass, and the like. I didn't even bother with the Air Force Academy or New Life Church- despite visibility being too poor to actually see them from the roadway, I didn't care. We had a long, awkward, and good conversation on the way down, clearing the air for me a bit. I discover a little more all the time that I really like talking to that kid. He's a great listener. (Once again, when you find these, don't let them go... they are rare.)
I brought him into town on Garden of The Gods road, and then drove him through GOG itself. It was just on the darker side of twilight, and gorgeous out. Despite the chill I lowered my window. Things seem more tangible when there's not glass in between. Dan muttered for a moment about the beauty, then we both fell silent. Sometimes words don't do things justice. After completing a circuit of the park, we snuck up on the west side of the Springs from behind and found ourselves in the company of one McDavid, which thrilled me to no end. We headed over to Adams, and as Dan and she quickly fell in love with each other over the best organic food on either side of the Mississippi, I took a fond look around. In just three days time, the restaurant would be moving over to the newly renovated/restored Spa building in the center of town. There were already evident changes- the weird, busy wallpaper had been pulled up and the walls had been painted. The smell was the same, though, and Lucci and Sam were both working. I got hugs all around, and as always they came and sat at our table for long moments, ignoring other customers and catching up. I love those girls. I got to sing Sam her song one more time, and she smiled and laughed at me just the way she always did. And of course, as Dan dubbed her, "Old Farl" had to show up. I swear the claw-handed woman has some sort of sensor-- Liza's down at Adams. Must go. Must have awkward moment where we face off and then provide 15 second long non-sequiter conversation. Check.
So a couple of hours later (not that it wasn't it's own illustrative point, but I did talk to Dan about the "slow food" movement), we left with little boxes. Mine said, "Do it effectively do it" on the top, and McDavid, who wanted a slightly more menacing message to ward off unwanted eaters, had a variety of saying scrawled upon it. "Poison, posion. Scary feminine stuff. Placenta sauteed in man juice. Do not eat. Posson."
We sauntered back over to the Jeep, much fuller (and a little drunker, we did in fact split a bottle of organic Ladybug red table wine) and whipped that sucker around to Manitou Ave, and went into the Ancient Mariner where we had some more drinks and played a rather forgettable game of pool. I remember Dan lost both times. (the first we didn't count as an actual game, because all he did when he tried to break was shoot the cue ball into the nearest pocket. did I mention we were drinking?) I rubbed his shoulders for a moment, and a man who would have been absolutely creepy anywhere else but was perfectly normal in Manitou came up and asked me if I could work on him next. Sure. He plopped down and groaned for about five while I dug into his right shoulder. He had a pearl earring and a great, shaggy head of gray hair, racing down to meet a teal flannel shirt. He had a nice ring, too. Finally Dan saved me by leaning close to him and saying rather loudly, "Think you can sleep on that, now?" (his original complaint is that he couldn't sleep.) Yes, we are the smoothest operators in the known world. Still, I shot Dan a grateful smile and bucko thanked me heartily before stumbling off.
After I finished my Fat Tire (booyah!) and Shelly showed up, we shoved off. We dropped McDavid off and there were hugs and love all around. Dan looked at me accusatorily, wagging his finger and telling me I shouldn't have kept all these lovely people from him for so long. I just shrugged. He was to drive back up to Denver, so I gave him some rudimentary directions and dozed off, content to leave him in charge of transportation. I woke up to a hand squeeze at the Lincoln Ave exit, and gave him sleepy but followable instructions back to Buddy's. It was just after midnight, and we stumbled in her apartment to find her sleeping on the futon in the entryway. After quick tooth brushing, I tumbled into bed, falling back to sleep before Dan could get out of the shower.
1.31.2007
I am a covered wagon
So, I took a trip last weekend.
Once again I found myself stuffed into a plane seat- not an unpleasant experience, surely- I love to fly. I think maybe I'm going to start requesting the emergency row seats, though. They looked a little bit roomier. Especially if I fly with Dan again; I met up with him in Minneapolis and we shared the last leg of our flight together. All six foot six of him gladly sat in the middle seat for me so I could have the window (my favorite) and we could be together. Have I mentioned that he is a gem? Well, I will. He is a gem.
The flights out were about as uneventful as you can get- no memorable turbulence, and slightly ahead of schedule on both counts. Buddy was waiting for us on the other end, looking gorgeous as always, and skinny as always. Some things never change. She had washed her car for us, and I'll admit I felt very swank loading in and driving out of DIA with the two of them. All I have to say is, PTL for mountains. Why does my heart feel lighter when I see that skyline? Why do I feel like I'm coming home, when everything out there was anything but easy? Perhaps, as I communicated to Dan later that weekend, it was because I figured a lot of things out about myself while I was out there, and because I failed a lot. I'm not used to doing the latter, and hadn't (apparently) done much of the former... in all honesty, it makes you feel like a bigger person. I like being a bigger person.
So, we immediately drove out to Red Rocks from DIA, because Shelly's dress rehearsal was there at the Chapel (where she would get married Sunday). Let me tell anyone reading this, if you are ever so inclined, NEVER get married there. The wedding coordinator was a complete alpha Bitch, making Shelly cry on several occasions. They forced her to use at least two of their musicians, which cost $500 a piece... which she told me was a combined total of more than the chapel itself. And the musicians were total assholes, rude and disruptive to the ceremony... whew. Anyway, more on that later. But don't get married there.
Shelly looked great. I sang the processional, and Buddy played keys while I played her gorgeous guitar. I met Shelly's new stepkids briefly, man what beautiful little creatures. They were well behaved, attentive, and affectionate with her. I should have looked for power switches on them. Did I mention that they were cute? I exchanged a couple of words with Dude that Shelly's marrying, nope, don't know him any better than before I exchanged a couple of words. Sometimes, you just have to trust that your friends are doing the right thing, because there's definitely nothing else accompanying your support than faith. I must say in all of this, however, that the place was gorgeous. Well, not the chapel so much itself, it was sort of plain and boxy, but the front of it opened up to a view of Red Rocks itself that was, I must say, quite pleasing. Dan got to stand in for a groomsman that failed to show up (how does that work? isn't that what a rehearsal is for? doesn't everyone have to be there?) and escort the maid of honor down the aisle. She was a little shorty, and reaching up to grasp his arm was definitely the same height as grasping an oh-shit bar in a car for her. One of my favorite things of the day.
We then drove around Red Rocks for a bit, and after an aborted attempt to see the amphitheatre itself (the walkways were closed due to being ice-floes) we headed back towards town. Dan got to see Buddy's basement apartment briefly before we went to Thai Basil and gorged ourselves. That would happen a lot over the weekend. After a delightful dinner, wherein the mounting tension between Buddy and I was broken through about a ten-minute laugh festival due to something wonderfully idiosyncratic she said, we drove back to her apartment and collapsed on the bed.
That was pretty much the first day.
Once again I found myself stuffed into a plane seat- not an unpleasant experience, surely- I love to fly. I think maybe I'm going to start requesting the emergency row seats, though. They looked a little bit roomier. Especially if I fly with Dan again; I met up with him in Minneapolis and we shared the last leg of our flight together. All six foot six of him gladly sat in the middle seat for me so I could have the window (my favorite) and we could be together. Have I mentioned that he is a gem? Well, I will. He is a gem.
The flights out were about as uneventful as you can get- no memorable turbulence, and slightly ahead of schedule on both counts. Buddy was waiting for us on the other end, looking gorgeous as always, and skinny as always. Some things never change. She had washed her car for us, and I'll admit I felt very swank loading in and driving out of DIA with the two of them. All I have to say is, PTL for mountains. Why does my heart feel lighter when I see that skyline? Why do I feel like I'm coming home, when everything out there was anything but easy? Perhaps, as I communicated to Dan later that weekend, it was because I figured a lot of things out about myself while I was out there, and because I failed a lot. I'm not used to doing the latter, and hadn't (apparently) done much of the former... in all honesty, it makes you feel like a bigger person. I like being a bigger person.
So, we immediately drove out to Red Rocks from DIA, because Shelly's dress rehearsal was there at the Chapel (where she would get married Sunday). Let me tell anyone reading this, if you are ever so inclined, NEVER get married there. The wedding coordinator was a complete alpha Bitch, making Shelly cry on several occasions. They forced her to use at least two of their musicians, which cost $500 a piece... which she told me was a combined total of more than the chapel itself. And the musicians were total assholes, rude and disruptive to the ceremony... whew. Anyway, more on that later. But don't get married there.
Shelly looked great. I sang the processional, and Buddy played keys while I played her gorgeous guitar. I met Shelly's new stepkids briefly, man what beautiful little creatures. They were well behaved, attentive, and affectionate with her. I should have looked for power switches on them. Did I mention that they were cute? I exchanged a couple of words with Dude that Shelly's marrying, nope, don't know him any better than before I exchanged a couple of words. Sometimes, you just have to trust that your friends are doing the right thing, because there's definitely nothing else accompanying your support than faith. I must say in all of this, however, that the place was gorgeous. Well, not the chapel so much itself, it was sort of plain and boxy, but the front of it opened up to a view of Red Rocks itself that was, I must say, quite pleasing. Dan got to stand in for a groomsman that failed to show up (how does that work? isn't that what a rehearsal is for? doesn't everyone have to be there?) and escort the maid of honor down the aisle. She was a little shorty, and reaching up to grasp his arm was definitely the same height as grasping an oh-shit bar in a car for her. One of my favorite things of the day.
We then drove around Red Rocks for a bit, and after an aborted attempt to see the amphitheatre itself (the walkways were closed due to being ice-floes) we headed back towards town. Dan got to see Buddy's basement apartment briefly before we went to Thai Basil and gorged ourselves. That would happen a lot over the weekend. After a delightful dinner, wherein the mounting tension between Buddy and I was broken through about a ten-minute laugh festival due to something wonderfully idiosyncratic she said, we drove back to her apartment and collapsed on the bed.
That was pretty much the first day.
1.25.2007
liars lack
sorry about my sporadic posting over here. I've been using the myspace blog pretty frequently- it helps out with issues mentioned in my last post because you have to be a member to read the blogs there. ;0
oh, I am so sneaky, sneaky.
I'm planning on going out west tomorrow for my friend Shelly's wedding- yes, the same one with whom I went through my massage program. At the same moment, I hear news from other friends who may be divorcing, and I just want to tell Shell not to bother. I guess it shouldn't affect me like it does, but I care about people, and despite myself, I find myself caring about marriage, too. I've never done it. The longer time goes on, the less I think I will (and believe me, I'm more than ok with that) but I still have the institution up on a pedestal... and I don't really want to apologize for that. I don't feel at all comfortable listening to people bash gay marriage when 1 out of 2 marriages (in or out of the church) end in divorce. All my close friends that have divorced/may divorce were in the church. I'm not blaming them (I want you to know this, I'm not blaming you). It's just where we're at, I guess.
I want to support everyone, and for everyone to be happy. I don't want to run other people's lives, or tell them what to do, or be anything but a peacemaker. I suppose some might think this makes me a bad Christian. I like to think it makes me a good one.
oh, I am so sneaky, sneaky.
I'm planning on going out west tomorrow for my friend Shelly's wedding- yes, the same one with whom I went through my massage program. At the same moment, I hear news from other friends who may be divorcing, and I just want to tell Shell not to bother. I guess it shouldn't affect me like it does, but I care about people, and despite myself, I find myself caring about marriage, too. I've never done it. The longer time goes on, the less I think I will (and believe me, I'm more than ok with that) but I still have the institution up on a pedestal... and I don't really want to apologize for that. I don't feel at all comfortable listening to people bash gay marriage when 1 out of 2 marriages (in or out of the church) end in divorce. All my close friends that have divorced/may divorce were in the church. I'm not blaming them (I want you to know this, I'm not blaming you). It's just where we're at, I guess.
I want to support everyone, and for everyone to be happy. I don't want to run other people's lives, or tell them what to do, or be anything but a peacemaker. I suppose some might think this makes me a bad Christian. I like to think it makes me a good one.
1.02.2007
I just died in your arms tonight
For whatever reason, the theme so far of 2007 is that I can't stop listening to 80's music.
resolutions this year-
no fried foods
no beer
no caffeine.
ah yes, this gives me loopholes- like fast food that isn't fried... wait, that's not a loophole. there's nothing left. wendy's salads. that's it. and cups of beans at Taco Bell. I knew I had something to look forward to. and I can still have wine. and mixers. and sake.... sushi is definitely something that needs to be in my diet with greater frequency this year. jones cream soda is the only answer I have for that last item on my list- coupled with mate, of course, for those 3-hour-o-sleep nights.
ahhhh, to be young again.
ok, so I have a little beef before we get out of the gate here. I've been a blogger for over two years here, but I will erase this thing and change my address if you people who are reading this and then harassing my parents don't stop in your tracks. you know who you are. there is a comments option at the bottom of every post. do you have a comment? use it. do you have a question? use it. every person I am talking to right now has my number, I know it for a fact. I'm not using your name or place in my life out of respect to you- something that obviously isn't returned because you won't respect me enough to come to me directly when you are "concerned" about something. it feels creepy and weird to know that people are poking around here, never announcing their presence, and then completely twisting things I say and use them out of context to harass me and my family. so knock it off.
as a side note, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, thanks for being a faithful reader.
much love to you and yours this 2007, and let's kick out some jams.
peace.
resolutions this year-
no fried foods
no beer
no caffeine.
ah yes, this gives me loopholes- like fast food that isn't fried... wait, that's not a loophole. there's nothing left. wendy's salads. that's it. and cups of beans at Taco Bell. I knew I had something to look forward to. and I can still have wine. and mixers. and sake.... sushi is definitely something that needs to be in my diet with greater frequency this year. jones cream soda is the only answer I have for that last item on my list- coupled with mate, of course, for those 3-hour-o-sleep nights.
ahhhh, to be young again.
ok, so I have a little beef before we get out of the gate here. I've been a blogger for over two years here, but I will erase this thing and change my address if you people who are reading this and then harassing my parents don't stop in your tracks. you know who you are. there is a comments option at the bottom of every post. do you have a comment? use it. do you have a question? use it. every person I am talking to right now has my number, I know it for a fact. I'm not using your name or place in my life out of respect to you- something that obviously isn't returned because you won't respect me enough to come to me directly when you are "concerned" about something. it feels creepy and weird to know that people are poking around here, never announcing their presence, and then completely twisting things I say and use them out of context to harass me and my family. so knock it off.
as a side note, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, thanks for being a faithful reader.
much love to you and yours this 2007, and let's kick out some jams.
peace.
12.22.2006
...
I realized that today
again for the first time
in ages
I cared enough about something with you
to get mad about it.
What does that mean?
again for the first time
in ages
I cared enough about something with you
to get mad about it.
What does that mean?
12.12.2006
well, I'll be switched! Mary got knocked up! ... somehow
below I've posted an article about Mary Cheney, the lesbian daughter of our illustrious Vice. Does anybody have any thoughts? Does anybody read this blog anymore? Hello, is this thing on? I have thoughts, surely- just thought I'd see what was rolling around in your heads, my cyberspace compatriots, first.
also, here's a coupla photos of the old girl, ifnya don't know whom I'm speaking of.
holding the Bible for dear old dad.
that's mary on the left, and partner heather poe on the right.
Mary Cheney Expecting Baby With Her Partner
Article Tools Sponsored By
By JIM RUTENBERG
Published: December 6, 2006
WASHINGTON, Dec. 6 — Mary Cheney, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, is expecting a baby with her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, Mr. Cheney’s office said today.
Lea Anne McBride, a spokeswoman for Mr. Cheney, said the vice president and his wife, Lynne Cheney, were “looking forward with eager anticipation” to the baby’s birth, which is expected this spring and will bring to six the number of grandchildren the Cheneys have.
Mr. Cheney’s office would not provide details about how Mary Cheney became pregnant or by whom, and Ms. Cheney did not respond to messages left at her office and with her book publisher, Simon & Schuster.
The announcement of Mary Cheney’s pregnancy, which was first reported today by The Washington Post, and her expected status as a same-sex parent, prompted new debate over the administration’s opposition to gay marriage.
Family Pride, a gay rights group, noted that Ms. Cheney’s home state of Virginia does not recognize same-sex marriages or civil unions to same-sex couples.
“The news of Mary Cheney’s pregnancy exemplifies, once again, how the best interests of children are denied when lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizens are treated unfairly and accorded different and unequal rights and responsibilities than other parents,” the group’s executive director, Jennifer Chrisler, said in a statement.
Focus on the Family, an influential Christian group that has provided crucial political support to President Bush, released a statement that criticized child rearing by same-sex couples.
“Mary Cheney’s pregnancy raises the question of what’s best for children,” the group’s director of issues analysis, Carrie Gordon Earll, said in a statement. “Just because it’s possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father doesn’t mean it’s the best for the child. Love can’t replace a mom or a dad.”
In 2004, Ms. Cheney worked on the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign, which was victorious in part because of the so-called values voters who were drawn to the polls in key states by ballot measures seeking to ban same-sex marriage.
Mr. Bush that year voiced strong approval for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, as he did this year, too. While gay rights groups called on Ms. Cheney to speak out against the proposed ban in 2004, she remained silent.
But Ms. Cheney wrote in a book published earlier this year that she had considered resigning from the campaign after learning that Mr. Bush would endorse the proposed amendment. She wrote that her father talked her into staying, arguing that other important issues were at stake in the 2004 campaign.
As she promoted her book this spring, Ms. Cheney said a federal ban on same-sex marriage would “write discrimination into the Constitution.” She also made a donation this year to a group fighting a ballot initiative outlawing gay marriage in Virginia. Voters approved the initiative in November.
The vice president has hinted at his own disapproval of the proposed amendment. Asked where he stood on the issue during a campaign stop in Iowa in 2004, Mr. Cheney said, “Freedom means freedom for everyone.”
Ms. Cheney’s pregnancy is certain to add another wrinkle to the complex relationship between the White House and evangelical Christian leaders, some of whom complained this year that Mr. Bush was not doing enough to fight for a ban on gay marriage.
Dana Perino, a spokeswoman for Mr. Bush, said that Mr. Cheney had recently told the president about his daughter’s pregnancy and that “the president said he was happy for him.” The Cheneys have five grandchildren by their other daughter, Elizabeth.
Ms. Cheney, 37, is a vice president at AOL; Ms. Poe, a former park ranger, is 45.
also, here's a coupla photos of the old girl, ifnya don't know whom I'm speaking of.
holding the Bible for dear old dad.
that's mary on the left, and partner heather poe on the right.
Mary Cheney Expecting Baby With Her Partner
Article Tools Sponsored By
By JIM RUTENBERG
Published: December 6, 2006
WASHINGTON, Dec. 6 — Mary Cheney, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, is expecting a baby with her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, Mr. Cheney’s office said today.
Lea Anne McBride, a spokeswoman for Mr. Cheney, said the vice president and his wife, Lynne Cheney, were “looking forward with eager anticipation” to the baby’s birth, which is expected this spring and will bring to six the number of grandchildren the Cheneys have.
Mr. Cheney’s office would not provide details about how Mary Cheney became pregnant or by whom, and Ms. Cheney did not respond to messages left at her office and with her book publisher, Simon & Schuster.
The announcement of Mary Cheney’s pregnancy, which was first reported today by The Washington Post, and her expected status as a same-sex parent, prompted new debate over the administration’s opposition to gay marriage.
Family Pride, a gay rights group, noted that Ms. Cheney’s home state of Virginia does not recognize same-sex marriages or civil unions to same-sex couples.
“The news of Mary Cheney’s pregnancy exemplifies, once again, how the best interests of children are denied when lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender citizens are treated unfairly and accorded different and unequal rights and responsibilities than other parents,” the group’s executive director, Jennifer Chrisler, said in a statement.
Focus on the Family, an influential Christian group that has provided crucial political support to President Bush, released a statement that criticized child rearing by same-sex couples.
“Mary Cheney’s pregnancy raises the question of what’s best for children,” the group’s director of issues analysis, Carrie Gordon Earll, said in a statement. “Just because it’s possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father doesn’t mean it’s the best for the child. Love can’t replace a mom or a dad.”
In 2004, Ms. Cheney worked on the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign, which was victorious in part because of the so-called values voters who were drawn to the polls in key states by ballot measures seeking to ban same-sex marriage.
Mr. Bush that year voiced strong approval for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, as he did this year, too. While gay rights groups called on Ms. Cheney to speak out against the proposed ban in 2004, she remained silent.
But Ms. Cheney wrote in a book published earlier this year that she had considered resigning from the campaign after learning that Mr. Bush would endorse the proposed amendment. She wrote that her father talked her into staying, arguing that other important issues were at stake in the 2004 campaign.
As she promoted her book this spring, Ms. Cheney said a federal ban on same-sex marriage would “write discrimination into the Constitution.” She also made a donation this year to a group fighting a ballot initiative outlawing gay marriage in Virginia. Voters approved the initiative in November.
The vice president has hinted at his own disapproval of the proposed amendment. Asked where he stood on the issue during a campaign stop in Iowa in 2004, Mr. Cheney said, “Freedom means freedom for everyone.”
Ms. Cheney’s pregnancy is certain to add another wrinkle to the complex relationship between the White House and evangelical Christian leaders, some of whom complained this year that Mr. Bush was not doing enough to fight for a ban on gay marriage.
Dana Perino, a spokeswoman for Mr. Bush, said that Mr. Cheney had recently told the president about his daughter’s pregnancy and that “the president said he was happy for him.” The Cheneys have five grandchildren by their other daughter, Elizabeth.
Ms. Cheney, 37, is a vice president at AOL; Ms. Poe, a former park ranger, is 45.
12.08.2006
John in India
My dear mentor, John Hay, Jr., is preparing to head to India next month, bicycling hundreds and hundreds of miles over six weeks to raise money to rebuild a hospital. Two bishops are riding with him, benefiting this aging Free Methodist medical building. I snagged the following article from the Indy Star for ya'll to peruse... keep them in your prayers.
IndyStar.com Metro & State
November 27, 2006
Pastor preparing to bike India
Trip helps Free Methodist Church support a rural hospital there
By Diana Penner
diana.penner@indystar.com
John Hay Jr.'s heart has long been in serving the community and God.
Soon, his legs will get involved, too.
Hay, senior pastor at West Morris Street Free Methodist Church since 2003, plans a 2,000-mile bicycle tour of India to raise money to rebuild a rural Indian hospital affiliated with the Free Methodist Church.
"It's a long time in the saddle," Hay said, noting he already has developed, well, saddle sores in training.
Regardless, on the day after Christmas, the 47-year-old father of four is leaving Indianapolis for India.
On Dec. 30, he, two other Americans and two Indians expect to begin their journey from the southern tip of India to New Delhi. They hope to ride 65 to 80 miles a day, six days a week, for about six weeks.
They're not sure where they will sleep each night, but they will have tents when a more permanent structure isn't available.
The goal is to raise $600,000 for Umri Christian Hospital, founded in central India 55 years ago by the physician-father of one of the other American riders, Bob Yardy, a physical therapist born in Umri who now lives near Champaign, Ill.
The third American is Free Methodist Bishop Joseph F. James, one of four North American bishops of the church. James has lost more than 50 pounds preparing for the trek, Hay said.
Hay regularly cycles for health and fun, logging about 4,000 miles a year. Since last summer, though, he has ratcheted up his training and hoped to get in several 60-mile rides this holiday weekend to test himself.
Umri is a 100-bed hospital with a staff of about 35 people, including three full-time doctors and eight full-time nurses. It serves an area of about 300,000 people, Hay said, and relies largely on donations because many of its patients can pay little, if anything, for their health care.
The cyclists, who'll be accompanied by one support car to carry their gear, plan to arrive in Umri around the third week of January, Hay said. They are taking their bicycles along as luggage, plus an array of extra parts and repair equipment.
In addition to raising money for the hospital, the effort already has raised $37,500 to buy 750 bikes for outreach workers in India.
While he's cycling through India, Hay plans to blog daily about the trip, although he hasn't quite figured out the logistics.
"For me, it's a once-in-a-lifetime challenge," he said. "I couldn't do it without the support of the congregation -- they see it as a really important thing to do."
Call Star reporter Diana Penner at (317) 444-6249.
Copyright 2006 IndyStar.com. All rights reserved
***
Want to help?
Tax-deductible donations to Umri Christian Hospital should be sent to the King Trust Charitable Fund, P.O. Box 580, Spring Arbor, MI 49283. Checks should be made out to "Umri Christian Hospital Foundation, Bicycle India 2007."
John Hay Jr., senior pastor at West Morris Street Free Methodist Church, plans to blog daily -- or as often as he can -- while on his 2,000-mile bike trip in India beginning Dec. 30. Follow his trip at www.bicycleindia2007.blogspot.com.
Go to www.bikeindia.org for more.
-- Star report
IndyStar.com Metro & State
November 27, 2006
Pastor preparing to bike India
Trip helps Free Methodist Church support a rural hospital there
By Diana Penner
diana.penner@indystar.com
John Hay Jr.'s heart has long been in serving the community and God.
Soon, his legs will get involved, too.
Hay, senior pastor at West Morris Street Free Methodist Church since 2003, plans a 2,000-mile bicycle tour of India to raise money to rebuild a rural Indian hospital affiliated with the Free Methodist Church.
"It's a long time in the saddle," Hay said, noting he already has developed, well, saddle sores in training.
Regardless, on the day after Christmas, the 47-year-old father of four is leaving Indianapolis for India.
On Dec. 30, he, two other Americans and two Indians expect to begin their journey from the southern tip of India to New Delhi. They hope to ride 65 to 80 miles a day, six days a week, for about six weeks.
They're not sure where they will sleep each night, but they will have tents when a more permanent structure isn't available.
The goal is to raise $600,000 for Umri Christian Hospital, founded in central India 55 years ago by the physician-father of one of the other American riders, Bob Yardy, a physical therapist born in Umri who now lives near Champaign, Ill.
The third American is Free Methodist Bishop Joseph F. James, one of four North American bishops of the church. James has lost more than 50 pounds preparing for the trek, Hay said.
Hay regularly cycles for health and fun, logging about 4,000 miles a year. Since last summer, though, he has ratcheted up his training and hoped to get in several 60-mile rides this holiday weekend to test himself.
Umri is a 100-bed hospital with a staff of about 35 people, including three full-time doctors and eight full-time nurses. It serves an area of about 300,000 people, Hay said, and relies largely on donations because many of its patients can pay little, if anything, for their health care.
The cyclists, who'll be accompanied by one support car to carry their gear, plan to arrive in Umri around the third week of January, Hay said. They are taking their bicycles along as luggage, plus an array of extra parts and repair equipment.
In addition to raising money for the hospital, the effort already has raised $37,500 to buy 750 bikes for outreach workers in India.
While he's cycling through India, Hay plans to blog daily about the trip, although he hasn't quite figured out the logistics.
"For me, it's a once-in-a-lifetime challenge," he said. "I couldn't do it without the support of the congregation -- they see it as a really important thing to do."
Call Star reporter Diana Penner at (317) 444-6249.
Copyright 2006 IndyStar.com. All rights reserved
***
Want to help?
Tax-deductible donations to Umri Christian Hospital should be sent to the King Trust Charitable Fund, P.O. Box 580, Spring Arbor, MI 49283. Checks should be made out to "Umri Christian Hospital Foundation, Bicycle India 2007."
John Hay Jr., senior pastor at West Morris Street Free Methodist Church, plans to blog daily -- or as often as he can -- while on his 2,000-mile bike trip in India beginning Dec. 30. Follow his trip at www.bicycleindia2007.blogspot.com.
Go to www.bikeindia.org for more.
-- Star report
12.03.2006
To the Indianapolis Star
Dear Editor,
I am a member of a performing arts ensemble that found itself rehearsing today out of St. Luke's UMC on 86th. After spending several hours in the building, I exited with my mother to the parking lot, tossing her the keys so I could take a much needed nap on the ride back to Hendricks County. As we approached my vehicle, she asked me why my window had been left down, and then we both realized together that in fact it was broken, not down, and my dash was torn out. My vents were broken and my stereo was gone- glass shards littered the ground and the interior of my vehicle.
After initial shock and a little sadness, I started trying to gather my wits; fortunately my theif didn't have many. My Daytimer sat out in the open, zipped, still full of my credit cards and money. Turns out all he or she got was in fact the stereo, which appears to have put up a little bit of a fight.
So why do I need to tell you all this, dear Editor, and readers? Because I have no idea how to get in touch with this other human who linked themself to me in this act. But I want them to know something: I forgive you. I'm sorry about whatever circumstances are causing you to steal. I mean it. I'm poor now, but I've been poorer, and I know it hurts. I know sometimes we do things to make ourselves feel better for a little while, and some of those things cost money. Sometimes we have kids who want Christmas presents and we can't even afford to buy them new shoes. I'm sorry because one day you may regret this, and nothing will undo what you did today. I'm sorry that we aren't both a little different, because who knows how else we could have been linked other than this theft of a stereo that I'm sorry to say I'm pretty sure you won't get much money for. I wish you had someone in your life that could help you; maybe you do. Maybe that person will show you this letter. But I want you to know that it's alright. And I hope whatever made you do it gets better so you don't have to do it again.
Insurance isn't covering it, but I'll make it work. I hope you're ok.
-Liza Swart
I am a member of a performing arts ensemble that found itself rehearsing today out of St. Luke's UMC on 86th. After spending several hours in the building, I exited with my mother to the parking lot, tossing her the keys so I could take a much needed nap on the ride back to Hendricks County. As we approached my vehicle, she asked me why my window had been left down, and then we both realized together that in fact it was broken, not down, and my dash was torn out. My vents were broken and my stereo was gone- glass shards littered the ground and the interior of my vehicle.
After initial shock and a little sadness, I started trying to gather my wits; fortunately my theif didn't have many. My Daytimer sat out in the open, zipped, still full of my credit cards and money. Turns out all he or she got was in fact the stereo, which appears to have put up a little bit of a fight.
So why do I need to tell you all this, dear Editor, and readers? Because I have no idea how to get in touch with this other human who linked themself to me in this act. But I want them to know something: I forgive you. I'm sorry about whatever circumstances are causing you to steal. I mean it. I'm poor now, but I've been poorer, and I know it hurts. I know sometimes we do things to make ourselves feel better for a little while, and some of those things cost money. Sometimes we have kids who want Christmas presents and we can't even afford to buy them new shoes. I'm sorry because one day you may regret this, and nothing will undo what you did today. I'm sorry that we aren't both a little different, because who knows how else we could have been linked other than this theft of a stereo that I'm sorry to say I'm pretty sure you won't get much money for. I wish you had someone in your life that could help you; maybe you do. Maybe that person will show you this letter. But I want you to know that it's alright. And I hope whatever made you do it gets better so you don't have to do it again.
Insurance isn't covering it, but I'll make it work. I hope you're ok.
-Liza Swart
11.23.2006
happy thanksgiving.
I just finished cleaning my room, and man it feels nice not to have half of my growing wardrobe on the 2x2 foot space not taken up by furniture. I always vow to myself to keep it clean, keep it neat and tidy... the next thing I know, old cheetos bags are mixed in with guitar picks and dirty sweaters, all crumpled together beneath my feet. Oh, and there is nothing so sweet as the taste of pain after turning an ankle on a shoe hidden by layers of debris. It makes me want to scream, yes!
(whew... I'm all out of breath... just returned from the living room where I had the inaugural christmas dance with my brother. "Simply having a wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney was never meant to be treated with our clumsy renditions of popular dance moves like "the shovel," "the sprinkler," or my personal fave, "the shopping cart." Nobody ever told us though; and if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't thwart the Swarts.)
Today was a really nice day. I did get kinda suffocating-feely after about 4 hours with the fam and left to come home. It was nice to get back to the solace of these four walls. Dad, Dan and Tanya and I went on a walk earlier in the day, from whence comes the picture above. I ate lots of food, including some incredible persimmon pudding and the best sweetpotato casserole I've ever tasted. Everybody was there at different points in the day; tensions rose and fell like an ebbing tide. My family really has a lot of lovely people in it. A couple of phone calls to and from friends also put me in a good frame of mind. I (almost) feel ready to go back to work tomorrow.
I'm actually thinking about getting up early and (yikes) buying a computer. I've been using my grandparents' old Dell since about May, when the crap lap took one final shuddering breath and forever closed its large glassy eye to the cruel world. I really want a mac laptop, but not having the 2500 lying around in petty cash, I may succumb and get a 400 dollar HP desktop tomorrow that could blow the pants off of this baby on a bad day. We'll see what happens. I may leave the house an extra half hour early or so and meander over to Best Buy; if they have it, they have it, if they don't, it will be my message from the heavens. I wish I was more valuable. Then I could just afford to buy things. Oh well. All in the eye of the beholder, I guess. Or the beholden.
So, darlings, Christmas is coming, and I wish you all a very merry season. Let's mean it this year.
11.11.2006
what a load.
Dobson Won't Counsel Haggard
Focus On The Family Leader Says He Doesn't Have Enough Time To Devote
Posted: 6:48 PM, Nov. 7, 2006
Last Updated: 1:36 AM, Nov. 8, 2006
By Baaron Pittenger
Focus on the Family leader James Dobson announces he will not participate in the counseling and restoration of former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard. Dobson released the following statement regarding his decision:
"It is with great regret -- and after much prayer and discussion with friends and family -- that I have had to reconsider my involvement in the panel overseeing Ted's restoration. Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help -- but the reality is I don't have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility. Ted and his family will be better served by someone whose energies and attention are not tugged on in quite so many directions.
All of us at Focus on the Family will continue to pray for Ted and Gayle and their children. I certainly hope to speak with him -- friend to friend -- as he moves forward. And I believe if he and his loved ones follow the counsel of Godly mentors and cooperate with the therapeutic process, their best days are ahead."
***
Jake has some really good things to say about this over here.
***
All I have to say is, yikes. Thank jeebus that FOTF rejected me when I applied to their publications department while I was still at Huntington. Dobson, even if you were following a blueprint for being ridiculous, I doubt you'd hit the nail on the head as well as you have been.
Focus On The Family Leader Says He Doesn't Have Enough Time To Devote
Posted: 6:48 PM, Nov. 7, 2006
Last Updated: 1:36 AM, Nov. 8, 2006
By Baaron Pittenger
Focus on the Family leader James Dobson announces he will not participate in the counseling and restoration of former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard. Dobson released the following statement regarding his decision:
"It is with great regret -- and after much prayer and discussion with friends and family -- that I have had to reconsider my involvement in the panel overseeing Ted's restoration. Emotionally and spiritually, I wanted to be of help -- but the reality is I don't have the time to devote to such a critical responsibility. Ted and his family will be better served by someone whose energies and attention are not tugged on in quite so many directions.
All of us at Focus on the Family will continue to pray for Ted and Gayle and their children. I certainly hope to speak with him -- friend to friend -- as he moves forward. And I believe if he and his loved ones follow the counsel of Godly mentors and cooperate with the therapeutic process, their best days are ahead."
***
Jake has some really good things to say about this over here.
***
All I have to say is, yikes. Thank jeebus that FOTF rejected me when I applied to their publications department while I was still at Huntington. Dobson, even if you were following a blueprint for being ridiculous, I doubt you'd hit the nail on the head as well as you have been.
11.05.2006
Ted talks
straight from the horse's mouth here. I do think it is a mistake for him to be wishy-washy about what's true and what's not; people will always jump to the worst conclusions. but one thing is sure; Ted is a marked man. As my dad would say, "cart retrieval."
Ousted evangelist confesses to followers
By COLLEEN SLEVIN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 45 minutes ago
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - Less than 24 hours after he was fired from the pulpit of the evangelical megachurch he founded, the Rev. Ted Haggard confessed to his followers Sunday that he was guilty of sexual immorality.
In a letter that was read to the congregation of the New Life Church by another clergyman, Haggard apologized for his acts and requested forgiveness.
"I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment for all of you," he said, adding that he had confused the situation by giving inconsistent remarks to reporters denying the scandal.
"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said.
Haggard resigned last week as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after a man claimed to have had drug-fueled homosexual trysts with him. Haggard also placed himself on administrative leave from the New Life Church, which has 14,000 members, but its independent Overseer Board fired him on Saturday.
In his letter, Haggard said "the accusations made against me are not all true but enough of them are that I was appropriately removed from his church leadership position."
He did not give details on which accusations were true.
The letter was read to the church by the Rev. Larry Stockstill, senior pastor of Bethany World Prayer Center in Baker, La., and a member of the board that fired Haggard.
Youngsters were sent out of the room before elders began speaking about the church crisis.
"Worshippers are always challenged by crisis. And when tragedy and crisis strikes it is at that moment that you truly decide if you are a worshipper of the most high god. And today as the worship pastor of this church I am very proud of you," said the Rev. Ross Parsley, who has replaced Haggard.
"I am so grateful for the government system in place here at this church. ... The speed with which things were dealt with this week has been a testimony to the godliness, to the integrity and authority of the overseers of the board of this church," he said.
Haggard, 50, had acknowledged on Friday that he paid Mike Jones of Denver for a massage and for methamphetamine, but said he did not have sex with him and did not take the drug.
The Overseer Board, made up clergy from various churches, used stronger language.
"Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct," the board said in a statement.
The NEA, representing 30 million evangelicals, named the Rev. Leith Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn., as its interim president.
Jones said in a telephone interview Sunday: "I am sad for him and his family. I know this is a tough day for him also. I wish him well. I wish his family well. My intent was never to destroy his family. My intent was to expose a hypocrite.
"I hope the healing process can start. I welcome his request for forgiveness for me."
Haggard's situation is a disappointment to Christian conservatives, whom
President Bush and other Republicans are courting heavily in the run-up to Tuesday's election.
Many were already disheartened with the president and the Republican-controlled Congress over their failure to deliver big gains on social issues even before the congressional page scandal involving former Rep. Mark Foley (news, bio, voting record).
Haggard, who had been president of the evangelical association since 2003, has participated in conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied Congress last year on Supreme Court nominees.
Haggard founded New Life in the mid-1980s and held its first services in the basement of his Colorado Springs home.
Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered who Haggard was and found out that New Life had publicly opposed same-sex marriage — a key issue in Colorado, with a pair of issues on Tuesday's ballot.
___
Associated Press reporter Robert Weller in Denver contributed to this report.
Ousted evangelist confesses to followers
By COLLEEN SLEVIN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 45 minutes ago
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - Less than 24 hours after he was fired from the pulpit of the evangelical megachurch he founded, the Rev. Ted Haggard confessed to his followers Sunday that he was guilty of sexual immorality.
In a letter that was read to the congregation of the New Life Church by another clergyman, Haggard apologized for his acts and requested forgiveness.
"I am so sorry for the circumstances that have caused shame and embarrassment for all of you," he said, adding that he had confused the situation by giving inconsistent remarks to reporters denying the scandal.
"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said.
Haggard resigned last week as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after a man claimed to have had drug-fueled homosexual trysts with him. Haggard also placed himself on administrative leave from the New Life Church, which has 14,000 members, but its independent Overseer Board fired him on Saturday.
In his letter, Haggard said "the accusations made against me are not all true but enough of them are that I was appropriately removed from his church leadership position."
He did not give details on which accusations were true.
The letter was read to the church by the Rev. Larry Stockstill, senior pastor of Bethany World Prayer Center in Baker, La., and a member of the board that fired Haggard.
Youngsters were sent out of the room before elders began speaking about the church crisis.
"Worshippers are always challenged by crisis. And when tragedy and crisis strikes it is at that moment that you truly decide if you are a worshipper of the most high god. And today as the worship pastor of this church I am very proud of you," said the Rev. Ross Parsley, who has replaced Haggard.
"I am so grateful for the government system in place here at this church. ... The speed with which things were dealt with this week has been a testimony to the godliness, to the integrity and authority of the overseers of the board of this church," he said.
Haggard, 50, had acknowledged on Friday that he paid Mike Jones of Denver for a massage and for methamphetamine, but said he did not have sex with him and did not take the drug.
The Overseer Board, made up clergy from various churches, used stronger language.
"Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct," the board said in a statement.
The NEA, representing 30 million evangelicals, named the Rev. Leith Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn., as its interim president.
Jones said in a telephone interview Sunday: "I am sad for him and his family. I know this is a tough day for him also. I wish him well. I wish his family well. My intent was never to destroy his family. My intent was to expose a hypocrite.
"I hope the healing process can start. I welcome his request for forgiveness for me."
Haggard's situation is a disappointment to Christian conservatives, whom
President Bush and other Republicans are courting heavily in the run-up to Tuesday's election.
Many were already disheartened with the president and the Republican-controlled Congress over their failure to deliver big gains on social issues even before the congressional page scandal involving former Rep. Mark Foley (news, bio, voting record).
Haggard, who had been president of the evangelical association since 2003, has participated in conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied Congress last year on Supreme Court nominees.
Haggard founded New Life in the mid-1980s and held its first services in the basement of his Colorado Springs home.
Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered who Haggard was and found out that New Life had publicly opposed same-sex marriage — a key issue in Colorado, with a pair of issues on Tuesday's ballot.
___
Associated Press reporter Robert Weller in Denver contributed to this report.
out
recent developments: ted's officially fired/out of everything he once gave birth to. Jake's idea of having him get a new publicist appears to have been noticed; "He is a man who has done a lot of good and who hopefully after a period of repentance and counsel and spiritual restoration will have a future ministry at some point," Cizik said.
So Ted won't be gone forever, probably. Unlike the warm affection of his wife, which will. Also, I found the last quote of the article chilling; particularly so because that's where the story ends.... for now. Dun dun dun.
Evangelical ousted amid gay sex scandal
By KIM NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 16 minutes ago
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - The Rev. Ted Haggard was dismissed Saturday as leader of the megachurch he founded after a board determined the influential evangelist had committed "sexually immoral conduct," the church said.
Haggard had resigned two days earlier as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after a Denver man named Mike Jones claimed to have had drug-fueled trysts with him. He also had placed himself on administrative leave from the New Life Church, but its Overseer Board took the stronger action Saturday.
"Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct," the independent board said in a statement.
Haggard was "informed of this decision," the statement said, and he "agreed as well that he should be dismissed."
Haggard, 50, on Friday acknowledged paying Jones for a massage and for methamphetamine, but said he did not have sex with him and did not take the drug.
The statement from the 14,000-member church said the investigation would continue to determine the extent of the misconduct. The Rev. Mike Ware of Victory Church in Westminster, a member of the board, declined to characterize what investigators found but said the board did not talk to Jones.
Haggard did not answer his home or mobile phones Saturday, and neither was accepting messages. The Rev. Rob Brendle, an associate pastor at New Life, said Haggard was out of town.
"We are fully confident in the board's judgment and decision," Brendle said. "Everyone supports Ted and his family. We stand by him."
Jones said the news of Haggard's dismissal made him sad.
"I feel really bad for his wife and family and his congregation. I know it's a sad day for them, too," Jones said. "I feel bad when someone has so many attachments to others. It affects everyone. I'm certainly not cheering or jumping up and down over what's happened.
"I just hope the family has peace and can come to terms with things. I hope they can continue with a happy life."
The Rev. Ross Parsley will lead the church until a permanent replacement for Haggard is chosen by the end of the year, the statement said. A letter explaining Haggard's removal and an apology from him will be read at Sunday services.
Haggard's situation is a disappointment to Christian conservatives, whom
President Bush and other Republicans are courting heavily in the run-up to Tuesday's election.
Many were already disheartened with the president and the Republican-controlled Congress over their failure to deliver big gains on social issues even before the congressional page scandal involving former Rep. Mark Foley (news, bio, voting record).
Haggard, who had been president of the evangelical association since 2003, has participated in conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied Congress last year on Supreme Court nominees.
Haggard visited the White House once or twice, Deputy Press Secretary Tony Fratto said Friday.
Richard Cizik, the evangelical association's vice president for governmental affairs, called Haggard's ouster "heartbreaking and unfortunate."
"He is a man who has done a lot of good and who hopefully after a period of repentance and counsel and spiritual restoration will have a future ministry at some point," Cizik said.
The association has named President Leith Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn., as its interim president.
The board's decision cuts Haggard off from leadership of the massive church he founded in the mid-1980s. He held New Life's first services in the unfinished basement of his Colorado Springs home.
Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered who Haggard was and found out that the New Life Church had publicly opposed same-sex marriage — a key issue in Colorado, with a pair of issues on Tuesday's ballot.
"It made me angry that here's someone preaching about gay marriage and going behind the scenes having gay sex," Jones said.
Jones has denied selling drugs but said Haggard snorted methamphetamine before their sexual encounters to heighten his experience. Jones agreed to take a lie-detector test Friday; the administrator of the test said the answers about his sex allegations "indicated deception."
But Jones said Saturday: "Obviously they determined there was sexual indiscretions, so I think that vindicates my claim."
Haggard told reporters he bought meth but never used it; he said he received a massage from Jones after being referred to him by a Denver hotel. Jones said that no hotel referred Haggard and that he advertises only in gay publications.
In a TV interview this week, Haggard said: "Never had a gay relationship with anybody, and I'm steady with my wife, I'm faithful to my wife."
Church member Christine Rayes, 47, said the congregation had hoped the allegations "were all lies."
"We all have to move forward now," she said. "This doesn't make what Ted accomplished here any less. The farther up you are, the more you are a target for Satan."
___
Associated Press writer Judith Kohler contributed to this report.
So Ted won't be gone forever, probably. Unlike the warm affection of his wife, which will. Also, I found the last quote of the article chilling; particularly so because that's where the story ends.... for now. Dun dun dun.
Evangelical ousted amid gay sex scandal
By KIM NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer 16 minutes ago
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - The Rev. Ted Haggard was dismissed Saturday as leader of the megachurch he founded after a board determined the influential evangelist had committed "sexually immoral conduct," the church said.
Haggard had resigned two days earlier as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after a Denver man named Mike Jones claimed to have had drug-fueled trysts with him. He also had placed himself on administrative leave from the New Life Church, but its Overseer Board took the stronger action Saturday.
"Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct," the independent board said in a statement.
Haggard was "informed of this decision," the statement said, and he "agreed as well that he should be dismissed."
Haggard, 50, on Friday acknowledged paying Jones for a massage and for methamphetamine, but said he did not have sex with him and did not take the drug.
The statement from the 14,000-member church said the investigation would continue to determine the extent of the misconduct. The Rev. Mike Ware of Victory Church in Westminster, a member of the board, declined to characterize what investigators found but said the board did not talk to Jones.
Haggard did not answer his home or mobile phones Saturday, and neither was accepting messages. The Rev. Rob Brendle, an associate pastor at New Life, said Haggard was out of town.
"We are fully confident in the board's judgment and decision," Brendle said. "Everyone supports Ted and his family. We stand by him."
Jones said the news of Haggard's dismissal made him sad.
"I feel really bad for his wife and family and his congregation. I know it's a sad day for them, too," Jones said. "I feel bad when someone has so many attachments to others. It affects everyone. I'm certainly not cheering or jumping up and down over what's happened.
"I just hope the family has peace and can come to terms with things. I hope they can continue with a happy life."
The Rev. Ross Parsley will lead the church until a permanent replacement for Haggard is chosen by the end of the year, the statement said. A letter explaining Haggard's removal and an apology from him will be read at Sunday services.
Haggard's situation is a disappointment to Christian conservatives, whom
President Bush and other Republicans are courting heavily in the run-up to Tuesday's election.
Many were already disheartened with the president and the Republican-controlled Congress over their failure to deliver big gains on social issues even before the congressional page scandal involving former Rep. Mark Foley (news, bio, voting record).
Haggard, who had been president of the evangelical association since 2003, has participated in conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied Congress last year on Supreme Court nominees.
Haggard visited the White House once or twice, Deputy Press Secretary Tony Fratto said Friday.
Richard Cizik, the evangelical association's vice president for governmental affairs, called Haggard's ouster "heartbreaking and unfortunate."
"He is a man who has done a lot of good and who hopefully after a period of repentance and counsel and spiritual restoration will have a future ministry at some point," Cizik said.
The association has named President Leith Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn., as its interim president.
The board's decision cuts Haggard off from leadership of the massive church he founded in the mid-1980s. He held New Life's first services in the unfinished basement of his Colorado Springs home.
Jones, who said he is gay, said he was upset when he discovered who Haggard was and found out that the New Life Church had publicly opposed same-sex marriage — a key issue in Colorado, with a pair of issues on Tuesday's ballot.
"It made me angry that here's someone preaching about gay marriage and going behind the scenes having gay sex," Jones said.
Jones has denied selling drugs but said Haggard snorted methamphetamine before their sexual encounters to heighten his experience. Jones agreed to take a lie-detector test Friday; the administrator of the test said the answers about his sex allegations "indicated deception."
But Jones said Saturday: "Obviously they determined there was sexual indiscretions, so I think that vindicates my claim."
Haggard told reporters he bought meth but never used it; he said he received a massage from Jones after being referred to him by a Denver hotel. Jones said that no hotel referred Haggard and that he advertises only in gay publications.
In a TV interview this week, Haggard said: "Never had a gay relationship with anybody, and I'm steady with my wife, I'm faithful to my wife."
Church member Christine Rayes, 47, said the congregation had hoped the allegations "were all lies."
"We all have to move forward now," she said. "This doesn't make what Ted accomplished here any less. The farther up you are, the more you are a target for Satan."
___
Associated Press writer Judith Kohler contributed to this report.
11.04.2006
liars, liars, all around, liars, liars, bring it down town
Things are starting to get good, people.
Note in this most recent article, Teddy claims to have bought meth from fake masseur.
Masseur denies this claim, stating he sent Ted elsewhere for drugs, then slept with him once he was high. I'm a little skeptical of this; if you scroll down to earlier articles posted, you will note that Mike Jones offered messages along the lines of Ted asking him for drug deals as proof that they were together. Pretty Damning.
Now, as a certified massage therapist living and working in Denver nary a year ago, I can absolutely vouch for his assertation that there was no way a hotel would have directed Ted/Art to him. Unlike Indiana, where I currently reside, there are certification/licensure requirements for CMTs in both Denver AND Colorado Springs. A hotel would not refer a client to someone who did not meet those requirements; not only would it be risky, it would be illegal. Ted had to go a'lookin.
Also, there is the tidbit at the end of the article that Jones failed a lie detector test today. which can only mean one thing.....
THIS CASH COW IS FAR FROM OVER!
above: Mike Jones, Ted's nemesis/lovemachine
Evangelical leader says he bought meth
By CATHERINE TSAI, Associated Press Writer Fri Nov 3, 10:49 PM ET
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - The Rev. Ted Haggard said Friday he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a male prostitute. But the influential Christian evangelist insisted he threw the drugs away and never had sex with the man.
Haggard, who as president of the National Association of Evangelicals wielded influence on Capitol Hill and condemned both gay marriage and homosexuality, resigned on Thursday after a Denver man named Mike Jones claimed that he had many drug-fueled trysts with Haggard.
On Friday, Haggard said that he received a massage from Jones after being referred to him by a Denver hotel, and that he bought meth for himself from the man.
But Haggard said he never had sex with Jones. And as for the drugs, "I was tempted, but I never used it," the 50-year-old Haggard told reporters from his vehicle while leaving his home with his wife and three of his five children.
Jones, 49, denied selling meth to Haggard. "Never," he told MSNBC. Haggard "met someone else that I had hooked him up with to buy it."
Jones also scoffed at the idea that a hotel would have sent Haggard to him.
"No concierge in Denver would have referred me," he said. He said he had advertised himself as an escort only in gay publications or on gay Web sites.
Jones did not immediately return calls from The Associated Press on Friday.
In addition to resigning his post at the NAE, which claims 30 million members, Haggard stepped aside as leader of his 14,000-member New Life Church pending a church investigation. In a TV interview this week, he said: "Never had a gay relationship with anybody, and I'm steady with my wife, I'm faithful to my wife."
In Denver, where Jones said his encounters with Haggard took place, police said in a news release they planned to contact the people involved for information on whether a crime was committed. The statement did not say whether an investigation was under way, and police spokeswoman Virginia Quinones declined to elaborate.
Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the district attorney's office, said that a public admission isn't enough by itself to bring a case, but that charges will be filed if criminal conduct can be proved.
Jones claims Haggard paid him for sex nearly every month for three years until August. He said Haggard identified himself as "Art." Jones said that he learned who Haggard really was when he saw the evangelical leader on television.
Jones said he went public with the allegations because Haggard has supported a measure on Tuesday's ballot that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage. Jones said he was also angry that Haggard in public condemned gay sex.
Haggard, who had been president of the NAE since 2003, has participated in conservative Christian leaders' conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied members of Congress last year on
U.S. Supreme Court nominees.
The NAE's executive committee issued a statement Friday praising Haggard's service but saying "it is especially serious when a pastor and prominent Christian leader deliberately violates God's standards of conduct."
The statement did not mention the allegations against Haggard beyond noting he had admitted to "some indiscretions."
"Due to the seriousness of Rev. Haggard's misconduct while in the leadership roles he held, we anticipate that an extended period of recovery will be appropriate," the statement said.
White House Deputy Press Secretary Tony Fratto said Friday that Haggard had visited the White House once or twice and participated in some of the conference calls. He declined to comment further, calling the matter a personal issue for Haggard.
Corwin Smidt, a political scientist at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich., and director of the Institute for the Study of Christianity and Politics there, said that Haggard's role with the association gave him some political clout, but that the group's focus is more on religion than political activism.
"It isn't necessarily that all evangelicals are paying close attention to what he's saying and doing, but he is an important leader," Smidt said.
James Dobson, head of Focus on the Family, an influential conservative Christian ministry based in Colorado Springs, said he was "heartsick" over the allegations. He described Haggard as his close friend and colleague.
Aaron Stern, another pastor at New Life, told Associated Press Television News on Friday that Haggard is a man of integrity and that church members don't know whether to believe the allegations.
Stern said he has been telling church members seeking his advice: "People do things we don't expect them to do, but in the midst of all of that our God is faithful, our God is strong."
Jones took a lie-detector test Friday, and his answers to questions about whether he had sexual contact with Haggard "indicated deception," said John Kresnick, who administered the test free at the request of a Denver radio station.
Jones told reporters afterward: "I am confused why I failed that, other than the fact that I'm totally exhausted."
___
Associated Press writers Robert Weller and Dan Elliott in Denver contributed to this report
Note in this most recent article, Teddy claims to have bought meth from fake masseur.
Masseur denies this claim, stating he sent Ted elsewhere for drugs, then slept with him once he was high. I'm a little skeptical of this; if you scroll down to earlier articles posted, you will note that Mike Jones offered messages along the lines of Ted asking him for drug deals as proof that they were together. Pretty Damning.
Now, as a certified massage therapist living and working in Denver nary a year ago, I can absolutely vouch for his assertation that there was no way a hotel would have directed Ted/Art to him. Unlike Indiana, where I currently reside, there are certification/licensure requirements for CMTs in both Denver AND Colorado Springs. A hotel would not refer a client to someone who did not meet those requirements; not only would it be risky, it would be illegal. Ted had to go a'lookin.
Also, there is the tidbit at the end of the article that Jones failed a lie detector test today. which can only mean one thing.....
THIS CASH COW IS FAR FROM OVER!
above: Mike Jones, Ted's nemesis/lovemachine
Evangelical leader says he bought meth
By CATHERINE TSAI, Associated Press Writer Fri Nov 3, 10:49 PM ET
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - The Rev. Ted Haggard said Friday he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a male prostitute. But the influential Christian evangelist insisted he threw the drugs away and never had sex with the man.
Haggard, who as president of the National Association of Evangelicals wielded influence on Capitol Hill and condemned both gay marriage and homosexuality, resigned on Thursday after a Denver man named Mike Jones claimed that he had many drug-fueled trysts with Haggard.
On Friday, Haggard said that he received a massage from Jones after being referred to him by a Denver hotel, and that he bought meth for himself from the man.
But Haggard said he never had sex with Jones. And as for the drugs, "I was tempted, but I never used it," the 50-year-old Haggard told reporters from his vehicle while leaving his home with his wife and three of his five children.
Jones, 49, denied selling meth to Haggard. "Never," he told MSNBC. Haggard "met someone else that I had hooked him up with to buy it."
Jones also scoffed at the idea that a hotel would have sent Haggard to him.
"No concierge in Denver would have referred me," he said. He said he had advertised himself as an escort only in gay publications or on gay Web sites.
Jones did not immediately return calls from The Associated Press on Friday.
In addition to resigning his post at the NAE, which claims 30 million members, Haggard stepped aside as leader of his 14,000-member New Life Church pending a church investigation. In a TV interview this week, he said: "Never had a gay relationship with anybody, and I'm steady with my wife, I'm faithful to my wife."
In Denver, where Jones said his encounters with Haggard took place, police said in a news release they planned to contact the people involved for information on whether a crime was committed. The statement did not say whether an investigation was under way, and police spokeswoman Virginia Quinones declined to elaborate.
Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the district attorney's office, said that a public admission isn't enough by itself to bring a case, but that charges will be filed if criminal conduct can be proved.
Jones claims Haggard paid him for sex nearly every month for three years until August. He said Haggard identified himself as "Art." Jones said that he learned who Haggard really was when he saw the evangelical leader on television.
Jones said he went public with the allegations because Haggard has supported a measure on Tuesday's ballot that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage. Jones said he was also angry that Haggard in public condemned gay sex.
Haggard, who had been president of the NAE since 2003, has participated in conservative Christian leaders' conference calls with White House staffers and lobbied members of Congress last year on
U.S. Supreme Court nominees.
The NAE's executive committee issued a statement Friday praising Haggard's service but saying "it is especially serious when a pastor and prominent Christian leader deliberately violates God's standards of conduct."
The statement did not mention the allegations against Haggard beyond noting he had admitted to "some indiscretions."
"Due to the seriousness of Rev. Haggard's misconduct while in the leadership roles he held, we anticipate that an extended period of recovery will be appropriate," the statement said.
White House Deputy Press Secretary Tony Fratto said Friday that Haggard had visited the White House once or twice and participated in some of the conference calls. He declined to comment further, calling the matter a personal issue for Haggard.
Corwin Smidt, a political scientist at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich., and director of the Institute for the Study of Christianity and Politics there, said that Haggard's role with the association gave him some political clout, but that the group's focus is more on religion than political activism.
"It isn't necessarily that all evangelicals are paying close attention to what he's saying and doing, but he is an important leader," Smidt said.
James Dobson, head of Focus on the Family, an influential conservative Christian ministry based in Colorado Springs, said he was "heartsick" over the allegations. He described Haggard as his close friend and colleague.
Aaron Stern, another pastor at New Life, told Associated Press Television News on Friday that Haggard is a man of integrity and that church members don't know whether to believe the allegations.
Stern said he has been telling church members seeking his advice: "People do things we don't expect them to do, but in the midst of all of that our God is faithful, our God is strong."
Jones took a lie-detector test Friday, and his answers to questions about whether he had sexual contact with Haggard "indicated deception," said John Kresnick, who administered the test free at the request of a Denver radio station.
Jones told reporters afterward: "I am confused why I failed that, other than the fact that I'm totally exhausted."
___
Associated Press writers Robert Weller and Dan Elliott in Denver contributed to this report
11.03.2006
Dobson turns on the heat
Ok, here's another article, recently released, that I'm also including not because of new information but because of Dobson's bold statement; he obviously gives Haggard a lot of credit for personally running Christ's kingdom. Not that I don't think teddyboy's choices don't have pretty dire consequences, but I think they're more damning to conservativism/religious hypocracy/GOPers/closeted gay men (not to imply that those are the same things... just all affected) than to Christianity specifically. Just like most Muslims probably hope that people look at the 9/11 terrorists as jihad-driven fundamentalists, and not intricately tied into the peace-based religion that Mohammed founded so long ago.
Haggard case fuels debate over hypocrisy
By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer 2 hours, 31 minutes ago
With the Mark Foley scandal still troubling Republicans, one of the nation's top evangelical leaders is now accused of paying for gay sex. Heading into Tuesday's election, when voters in eight states will decide on gay marriage bans, liberals and some conservatives are saying the party that prides itself on family values has a hypocrisy problem.
Ted Haggard, a staunch foe of gay marriage and occasional participant in White House conference calls, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and head of his Colorado church following allegations he met monthly with a gay prostitute for three years. Haggard denies having sex with the man, but admits receiving a massage and buying methamphetamine.
Five weeks ago, Foley — a vocal advocate for exploited children — resigned from Congress because of sexually tinged messages to male pages. Rep. Don Sherwood (news, bio, voting record), R-Pa., a married father of three, has been burdened by revelations about his five-year affair with a mistress who says he physically abused her.
"The attention focused on these cases will inescapably lead people to think about these people's hypocrisy," said Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. "They make a career out of defaming gay people and preaching family values, when it's clear that it's just a veneer."
Stephen Bennett, a conservative activist who describes himself as a former homosexual, also suggested the Haggard case would have political consequences.
"Will this affect the elections next Tuesday? ... You better believe it," he said in a statement from the Huntington, Conn., base of Stephen Bennett Ministries. "The more and more hypocrisy I see each day, the more I realize next Tuesday we are going to get exactly what we deserve."
Other conservatives disagreed — saying support for the gay-marriage bans and for GOP candidates would not be diminished. And John Green, a senior fellow at the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, said Haggard isn't close enough to
President Bush to be an ally, merely a supporter.
"We have great sympathy and disappointment, and can even be demoralized when a leader falls into sin," said Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women for America. "That doesn't mean we're going to vote against an amendment to protect marriage."
Republican pollster Whit Ayres acknowledged religious conservatives are discouraged about several issues this fall, but "are they so discouraged they're going to participate in any movement to have
Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi run the country? No."
The allegations against Haggard emerged only a few days before Coloradans vote on two ballot measures dealing with marriage and gay rights. One, backed by Haggard, specifies that marriage is only between a man and a woman; the other would provide many rights to same-sex couples through domestic partnerships.
Both the pro- and anti-ban campaigns in Colorado declined to comment on how the Haggard case might affect voting on the measures. A Colorado College political science professor, Bob Loevy, suggested there could be a burst of support for the marriage ban if voters felt the accusations against Haggard were timed to sway the referendums.
Referring to conservative voters in Colorado Springs, Haggard's hometown, Loevy said: "They don't get disenchanted easily."
Colorado Springs is the base of the influential Christian ministry Focus on the Family, which has campaigned vigorously against same-sex marriage. Its founder and chairman, James Dobson, said he was "heartsick" over the Haggard allegations.
"We will await the outcome of this story, but the possibility that an illicit relationship has occurred is alarming to us and to millions of others," Dobson said. "The situation has grave implications for the cause of Christ."
White House spokesman Tony Fratto said Haggard was on the weekly calls between Bush aides and evangelical leaders only "a couple" of times. The minister has visited the White House, but "there've been a lot of people who've come to the White House," Fratto said. He expressed confidence that evangelical voters can distinguish between an individual's problems and the GOP's agenda.
Indeed, the National Association of Evangelicals represents a political constituency that has been staunchly Republican in recent years. In 2004, according to exit polling, 78 percent of white born-again evangelical Christians voted for President Bush, and 72 percent voted for the GOP candidate for House.
An AP-AOL News poll in October showed a mild decline in evangelical support for the GOP, and 43 percent said they were dissatisfied with the Republican leadership in Congress. The poll found them no more or less likely to turn out on election day than voters generally.
David Kuo, a born-again Christian and former White House aide who wrote the book "Tempting Faith, An Inside Story of Political Seduction," said Haggard's situation is magnified by his and other evangelicals' involvement in Republican politics.
"It's religious hypocrisy with a political rocket booster," said Kuo, who thinks politics is corrupting Christianity. "It's tragedy enough if a pastor falls, but this is not about a pastor falling. This is about a politician falling, and the politician is bringing down Jesus with him."
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