The specific item I have in mind concerns one modified Christmas Carol a certain Mr. Dustin Booth and I modified from it's original, 1960s context. The following should be sung to the tune of "Silver Bells."
"Ringing Bells"
Busy sidewalks, turning tables
Can you take six on eight?
In the air I can smell orange spice tea.
Crappy tippers, tourists from Texas,
What a thankless job it can be
From the kitchen you always will hear:
Ringing bells, ringing bells,
Your ten-top's food is on fire
Where's the meat, we want to eat
Do you think we could get straws?
Where's the bacon? And the sausage?
Do you have corned beef hash?
In the air there's a warm smell of tofu.
I need equal- Diet Coke please
We would like separate checks-
We just lost electricity
Ringing bells, ringing bells
Frog says that we're all out of bread
On your feet, we're out of seats,
Soon it will be Labor Day.
ACT 2
So I took 4 days off work last week and drove my mama, little bro and aunt Gretchen around the bee-yutiful state of Colorady. I picked them up from the airport Tuesday night, and we drove down and stayed with Brian and Mahgrit, kidnapping a sleepy, dirty buddy on the way. We ate late night soups and Brian was impish with me for not calling. Oh well. I give him free massages, so he never stays mad for long. The next day we took the original Colorado kid back to her 4 square foot basement apartment on Emerson and she held hands with my brother briefly for a photo. Then we took off down US 285 towards Chaffee County. On the way we stopped at Red Rocks and hiked, and then Morrison for lunch, which I declined. It was really hot.
We finally got to Beuna Vista sometime around 2 or 3, and then drive down to Mt. Princeton. We took the mountain road up to St. Elmo, an almost perfectly preserved 120 year old ghost town. A few buildings burned down in a freak accident about 5 years ago, so we looked at some piles of ash and old iron stoves. Then we fed chipmunks that live in a pile of old railroad ties, and walked around and peed in this weird outhouse that smelled bad enough to make you faint. Then we headed home, and saw Buffalo and Cows but no antelope. We had spaghetti for dinner at my house and fell asleep almost immediately.
Thursday saw us sleeping in a little, and then walking around Manitou for an hour or so before going down to lunch at Adam's. Then we went up to the Cog Railway and took the 2:40 train bound for the summit of Pike's Peak. One of the engines broke down about halfway up, so the trip ended up taking a little longer than usual. We pulled back into the station after much picture taking and fudge buying at about 7:15. Then we came back through town, looked around a little more and mostly waited on Gretchen to buy jewelry. We were back at my place by 8:15, then made dinner and after about an hour had passed I gave my mom a massage. Then we watched an A&E Biography on Don Knotts and fell asleep.
Friday we woke up and went over to Adam's for a late breakfast. Then we walked around town a little more and bought some crap. We came back to the house and changed clothes and drove around for a while, I took them to downtown Colo Springs, and over to my school, where the somewhat grouchy receptionist was kind enough to let us in for a self-guided tour. Then we drove back to the Garden of the Gods and hung out for a couple of hours, taking a rather extended hike and pausing for all sorts of photo ops. We got back to the house around 5 or so, and then my mom changed and she and I went up to the community for the gathering. That went well and we got back around nine. We hung out on the porch for a little bit and talked, and then we turned in sort of early.
Saturday morning Dan and I got up and were out by 8:30, and climbed most of the incline, coming down where the Barr Trail makes a switchback particularly close. We were back by 10:30, and showered and ate. Gretchen wanted a massage then, and everybody else wanted to buy last minute crap and pack up. Then we got everything into the car and started driving north and were in Denver by 2:30. We walked the 16th Street Mall one way and then rode the free bus back. Nobody bought anything. Then we went out to Golden and drove around a little bit and saw the Coors factory, and ate an early dinner at Ali Baba's Grill, the best Lebanese food around. Then I drove them out to the airport, a little early because we weren't sure about security only three days after the London bombings, and I dropped them off. Then I went out to Scott's and gave him a massage and looked around his apartment and whatnot. And then I drove home and went to bed.
[End of act two.]
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