Yes, here comes the siren, yet again. However, I decided to pull out some laughs, rather than cause a mass suicide with my tales of corporate woe; the lady of the sea can amuse as well as destroy.
And now, without further ado,
....FUN TIME STARBUCKS SAYINGS!!!
[the following are actual questions or statements from customers.]
Do you guys sell just coffee?
Do you sell sushi?
Do you sell chapstick?
Can I have a grandy mokeyattey?
Do you guys have eggs?
Are you open?
Do you have milk?
Can I have no foam on my cappucino?
Is this coffee instant?
Can I have a gigantic toffee nut latte?
I'd like a grande crappucino.
I'd like a breakfast burrito.
I'd like a venti avocado.
I'd like a quad venti quarter packet of equal latte. (!!!)
I'll have a grand lot. (grande latte?)
I'll take a Pepsi or a Coke, whichever you guys have.
[our questions/comments to them.]
Would you like to try our grande caramel macchiawesome?
Starbucks employee: Sir, you have to purchase something or leave.
Intoxicated man: Why you dirty little rat, grumble grumble.
Starbucks employee: Why do you look familiar to me?
Random customer: Have I ever arrested you?
[and a few minor drive through misunderstandings.]
Can I get that to go?
You have loafs? What's a loaf?
I'd like a tall no-doz Americano.
I'd like 1/2 coffee and 1/2 junktico.
***
Other fun occurences on my watch have included two minor traffic incidents, one involving a pedestrian, plenty of honkers, and someone who was in such a hurry to get to the drive thru line that they actually ran our lighted sign over, knocking it off the soldered pedestal, and pushing it to its final resting place in the center of the parking lot. Let me tell you people, fun = times and times are to be had at your neighborhood Starbucks.
In other pleasant news, today was Presidents' Day. Did everyone celebrate their favorite President? I asked one customer this, and she sneered "LINCOLN" at me while thrusting a five dollar bill in my face. My game today was to see how many people could name the five living Presidents. So while we waited on blenders and steam wands, folks did their best to show their par with the current political scene. Only a handful couldn't remember the five alive (jive!): Ford, Carter, Bush, Clinton, Baby Bush. Even a lady from Vancouver seemed to rattle them off somewhat quickly. This one guy insisted so vehemently that Ford was dead, I began to believe him. Running up to a partner with misty eyes, I had to know for sure that Gerald was alive. I couldn't have missed that. And besides, wasn't he just at the Clinton Library Spectacular Spectacular?
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