super trooper

my car makes me want to kill myself in the following way: park it at the top of a hill, put it in neutral, then get out really fast and run and throw myself down in front of it.
fortunately, I know nice men, men with MS or extra unneeded cell phones or huge beautiful hair (or mustaches) that have answers for me before I even ask the questions, or the ability just to make me laugh, even if it is only for three seconds.

Why is it that I can be so lonely on a Friday night, but on a Sunday my life is so busy with sociality that I can't even talk to New York through my Jabra (r) headset? And then, at random times, the totally wrong person comes up and hits on you, and you almost drop your laptop in surprise. I am looking for my knight on his white horse, but somehow I always end up with Don Quixote. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Cervantes?)

In times of tearing down, there are also times of building up. And I doubt I would notice how nice the blanket is if I wasn't cold. And I will continue to be redeemed, not in spite of my failure, but because of it. It's nice to know that some things don't change, but just get better.

Very little is clear to me right now, but it all seems good.