here comes June

I've taken a hiatus from blogging... sorry to anyone who stopped by and found a whole lot of nothing new going on.

Things have continued to happen, however. Quick updates- things at Adam'a are good, school is good, roommate is good, and I am good. Except for the continual realization of who I am, which I guess you could say is more of a mixed bag than anything else.

I have a heart that's sick, unable to do the right thing, being caught off guard and swept up into the wrong thing at a moment's notice, when everything seems to be going ok. I have a God of love, who buys me back each time. The fact that I am cognizant of this situation makes it all the more painful to me. I'll never understand it, I won't try to relate it to some slightly humorous and touching anecdote because there isn't one appropriate.

I have a mind made for learning. I look out ahead of myself and think about grad school, or taking sailing lessons, or learning martial arts. I get the weirdest notions at times, say, for instance, to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Or rockclimb. Or go to culinary arts school. I love the Community here in Manitou, and even took Katie with me last night to the first part of the gathering, but they have no real interest in scholarship, only in what they believe God to be telling them. I, on the other hand, believe all truth is God's truth. This makes the academic world shimmer with possibilities; that we may know ourselves, our world and our maker more with each lesson learned, each class taught, and each pupil enlightened.

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I've been thinking about things like family, houses, cars. I don't know what my own family will look like as I age. God has provided me family in the realm of brothers and sisters in Christ, and if that is all I will ever have in this life, it is still a depth of relationship that many lack. I don't need to wait until I am married to buy a house. I feel very assertive on a lot of fronts, but not so much this one. I think it is important, though, to build for the future - all the while realizing tomorrow may never come. This includes cars. I love my Trooper, but I have come to the conclusion that he just isn't practical for every day driving- at least not after I leave Colorado. So while I don't want to get rid of the Troops, or Jeff, as I've taken to calling him, I think it would be worthwhile (especially if I move to Los Angeles as is planned) to have a small car for commuting. So I would have two cars. What's the harm in that? If they're both cheap, it equals one moderately priced car, with two entirely different options. Just some stuff I'm throwing out there for now.


Lying in bed this morning, I heard planes fly low overhead and thought about how I'd flee into the mountains if they started dropping nukes. There are some things that are important and some that aren't, and I'm just kind of trying to sort them all out right now.

Peace out.