5.23.2006

yessir

my neck hurts.

Brian called tonight, but I was over at Bob & Eunice's, gesticulating and talking about bullshit. So I missed his call. But I was thinking about him today, before he called.

Let's talk about one quarter of an inch, which is approximately how little effort it would take for me to make an ass out of myself. Teetering on the brink can be fun for a little while, when you have that clammy clamster feeling in your stomach, and sort of a sweaty feeling on the bottom of your feet, and you feel tippy. Then it just becomes nerve wracking. Tip, tip, tipperoo.

I feel very McDavid about this post right now, perhaps it is because I miss her. And other things, too- but I almost miss this moment even though I'm already in it. I think I'm really starting to see everything that is around me. Not in an appreciative sort of way, but an understanding sort of way. And I know the difference, which is perhaps the greatest startlement of all.

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Everything is continuing, I am, and God is, and redemption is a process. One doesn't get saved, one is always undergoing saving, redeeming, releasing what cannot be fully released, redeemed, or saved. Sisyphus. (sic)

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